Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Melville Island (Nova Scotia)

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Article promoted Hawkeye7 (talk) 05:06, 23 June 2012 (UTC)

Melville Island (Nova Scotia)

Nominator(s): Nikkimaria (talk)

This "island" interned POWs from at least four different conflicts as well as peacetime military prisoners. It and its adjacent burial ground of Deadman's Island (which is also not an island) have been the subject of two scholarly books. I believe this to be a comprehensive and well-sourced account of the site, and welcome any and all comments. Cheers Nikkimaria (talk) 16:55, 2 June 2012 (UTC)

I enjoyed it; nicely written. Some minor bits below:

• "in the Northwest Arm, a inlet" - "an inlet"
• "a fracture zone trending northwest–southeast" - I'm not quite sure I understood this; worth explaining or wikilinking
• "There is evidence of glacial scouring in the area" - now this I understood, but I might be in a minority
• " ranges from gravel to "muddy gravel"" - unclear why speechmarks were needed here
• "and is considered heavily contaminated." - is considered, or just is?
  • Well, I would say is, but "officially" it's considered. Nikkimaria (talk) 14:16, 4 June 2012 (UTC)
• "Water depth around Melville Island..." - might just be me, but I'd have said "The water depth..."
• "tamarack" - I recognised the other trees, but not this one; worth wikilinking?
• " However, given the development..." I'd normally advise against starting a sentence with "However..." when its being used with this meaning.
• "Though the Halifax era was settled by aboriginals, " - "area", vice "era"
• "However, the commander of the Halifax garrison..." - as above
• Is it worth giving comparisons for the financial figures (either modern equivalents, or some other contemporary cost to give a sense of whether these were large or small sums?)
• "A parole break by four officers in late 1805..." What's a parole break? Did they escape while out on parole? If so, might be worth expanding out. (It would also make it more understandable why the response of restricting purchases would have an impact on the problem.)
• " were daily given 0.45 kilograms (1 lb) each of bread and beef " I'm not sure that "daily" is in the most natural place here - might be worth moving it to the end of the sentence
• "500 tons of granite" - presumably needs the alternative figure as well
• "When VE Day caused riots in downtown Halifax..." - I'm fascinated, why did it cause riots?!
  • Apparently a group of sailors went on a rampage, though the reasons are somewhat complicated. I've now linked to our article on the subject
• Armdale Yacht Club is linked later on, but not on its first use at the beginning
• Having read through it, the lead looks quite short - there's lots of good material here, and I reckon the intro could safely be a little bit longer. Hchc2009 (talk) 08:23, 3 June 2012 (UTC)

Except where noted I've addressed these issues. Thanks for your review! Nikkimaria (talk) 14:16, 4 June 2012 (UTC)

Cheers - support. Hchc2009 (talk) 15:41, 4 June 2012 (UTC)

• Comments: supported below Interesting article, looks pretty well written, I only have a few small comments thus far.
• First three paragraphs start with "Melville Island", might want to introduce some variation.
• I see Canada linked in the lead, that may be overlinking.
• I'm not sure the mention of the marina in the first paragraph of the body flows well here.
• There's a little inconsistency with the serial comma.
• "More serious punishments included flogging or being confined to a barred hole in the prison cellar, known as the "Black Hole," with only bread and water." Do you know what sort of crimes would cause this type of punishment?
  • Source doesn't specify, unfortunately
• Some of the reference numbers are out of order. ([34][18])
• The Measuring Worth citation is missing a title.
• "All but 120 had left by mid-April; most of these" What does "these" refer to here, the people who left or stayed behind?
• Ref#121 is missing a page number. Mark Arsten (talk) 21:25, 4 June 2012 (UTC)
  • It and ref#122 are both citing the existence of these books, so individual page numbers aren't needed. Other than that and the point noted above, these should be addressed. Thanks for your comments. Nikkimaria (talk) 22:21, 4 June 2012 (UTC)
    • Good point, I should have seen that. Mark Arsten (talk) 17:38, 5 June 2012 (UTC)
• "Overall the recruitment project enlisted between 500 and 700 men, mostly Germans and Irish." These were German and Irish citizens living in the U.S., right? Might want to note that in this sentence.
• "though its historicity is limited by the land's current use as a marina." Is "historicity" being used correctly here?
  • I think so, yes
• "The prison also housed a schoolroom and chapel, staffed by army personnel." Just checking, but they were both staffed by the army, not just the chapel, right?
• Support Alright, this is an interesting, well written article, I'm glad I reviewed it. All I could find were minor issues, I trust it meets the A-class criteria. Mark Arsten (talk) 21:24, 5 June 2012 (UTC)

Thanks! Nikkimaria (talk) 22:02, 5 June 2012 (UTC)

Comments This is a very comprehensive and nicely written article. Here are my comments:

• "The site was first discovered by Europeans in the 1600s, though it was likely earlier explored by aboriginals" - surely it's a certainty that there would have been a pre-European presence of some sort (for instance, passing visits) on the island

• Almost certainly, but without archaeological evidence of same I didn't want to say so. Nikkimaria (talk) 13:02, 13 June 2012 (UTC)

• OK, fair enough. I presume that you don't have a source which says "nothing is known of the ways in which aboriginal Canadians used the island" or similar? Nick-D (talk) 10:51, 14 June 2012 (UTC)

• Unfortunately I haven't been able to find any source that deals with either their presence or absence. Nikkimaria (talk) 14:22, 14 June 2012 (UTC)

• The paragraph which begins with "Melville Island now hosts a yachting marina" probably best belongs in the post-1945 section

• Not sure I agree with this. The only part of that paragraph that is strongly "history" is the first sentence; the rest deals with the current "cityscape". Nikkimaria (talk) 13:02, 13 June 2012 (UTC)

• Should 'Entry Book' be capitalised?
• "frequented by British officers and citizens of Halifax" - I think that you mean 'residents of Halifax' here (citizens is normally used in the context of nationality)

• My thinking was to distinguish them from the British soldiers stationed in the city, but your solution works too. Nikkimaria (talk) 13:02, 13 June 2012 (UTC)

• The article says both "the number of prisoners reached over 1500" (which suggests that this was the maximum number at any point in time) and "Approximately 1535 French prisoners were incarcerated at Melville between 1803 and 1813" (which suggests that the peak would have been well below 1500). This seems to be contradictory.
• "Nine Spanish prisoners who had fought for Napoleon" are you sure that these Spaniards were captured while serving with the French military? Spain was an independent ally of France for the early part of the Napoleonic Wars.
• "the Admiralty sold the land to the British military" - given that the Admiralty is a key part of the British military, this is a bit confusing. I suspect that your source might be using the old-fashioned use of 'military' to refer to just the Army.
• Can more categories be added? (categories relating to the peninsula's geographical location, for instance)
• Not surprisingly, all the images are PD Nick-D (talk) 11:10, 13 June 2012 (UTC)

All done except where noted, thanks. Nikkimaria (talk) 13:02, 13 June 2012 (UTC)

Support My comments are now addressed. Great work with this article Nikki. Nick-D (talk) 10:51, 14 June 2012 (UTC)

Comments by Dank

• "... resold it in 1784 to James Kavanagh, the head of a prosperous family fishery, for £65 (£6202 as of 2010)": The argument has been made more often than not that 1784 is too early to allow a reasonable inflated figure in pounds, but I'm open to other arguments. I wouldn't object to some comparison along the lines of "about the cost of an X at that time", but we generally don't require any conversion. - Dank (push to talk) 18:14, 15 June 2012 (UTC)
• "story": I need to learn more about Canadian-English dictionaries; I admit that I don't trust much of what I read about Canadian English, and I'm looking for better authorities. Having said that ... consider "storey" (for a building level).
• "to gratify their eyes...with sight of what they called 'rebels'": spaces around the ellipses, and {{' "}} at the end for kerning. - Dank (push to talk) 18:14, 15 June 2012 (UTC)
• "in a state of neglect and decay.": There are differing interpretations of WP:LQ; the most common at FAC is that even if there's a period after "decay" in the source, you should keep it outside the quote marks here, because the presence or absence of a period couldn't affect the meaning of this snippet. In an attempt to follow the preferences at FAC, I'll move a period or comma outside the quote marks if we've got a phrase rather than a clause (i.e. no verb), but personally, I think this is too small an issue to warrant the time invested in an edit (or talking about it). Same goes for "detention barracks,". - Dank (push to talk) 18:43, 15 June 2012 (UTC)

All done, thanks. Nikkimaria (talk) 19:23, 15 June 2012 (UTC)

• Support on prose per standard disclaimer. - Dank (push to talk) 20:41, 15 June 2012 (UTC)

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The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.