Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/London and North Western Railway War Memorial

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Article promoted by Gog the Mild (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 22:20, 9 March 2021 (UTC) « Return to A-Class review list

London and North Western Railway War Memorial

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Nominator(s): HJ Mitchell (talk)

London and North Western Railway War Memorial (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

• Featured article candidates/London and North Western Railway War Memorial/archive1
• Featured article candidates/London and North Western Railway War Memorial/archive2

I'm back with another war memorial! This one is a prominent London memorial to a railway company, located outside Euston station, and as it turns out covered in some rather obscure books. I wrote the first version a few years ago and I've recently expanded it with a lot of help from Carcharoth, some fantastic photos from Thryduulf, and some obscure sources from the amazing folks at WP:RX. I'd like to take this to FAC but given its piecemeal development I'd like some more eyes on it first. As always, I'm grateful for any and all feedback! Thanks, HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 19:13, 18 February 2021 (UTC)

• Images appear to be freely licensed (t · c) buidhe 20:12, 18 February 2021 (UTC)

Support I'm afraid I don't even have any nitpicks this time. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:41, 19 February 2021 (UTC)

Comments Support by Zawed Only a few things that I could pick up on:

• In the design section, there is mention of a "moulded reed band"; I'm not sure what that actually is, maybe an explanation is required?
  • I've tweaked it and added a link.
• Also in the design section ...on top of each is a bronze over life-size statue. In the lead, it is over-life-size (the extra hyphen), so one or the other needs to be amended for consistency.
  • I went with the extra hyphen in the lead.
• ...and the Royal Flying Corps (which became the Royal Air Force),... this sentence construction implies, to me at least, the RFC became the RAF after the memorial was built when in fact it happened in 1918. Perhaps (which had become the Royal Air Force)?
  • Clarified.
• In the lead it is stated that the LNWR's three VC recipients were present at the unveiling but in the history, only mention is made of Sykes. Also, Victoria Cross and Sykes are dupe links.
  • Dupe links removed and other two VCs mentioned in body.

I fixed what I thought were a couple of typos in the bibliography. Other than the above, this is looking good. Zawed (talk) 10:18, 21 February 2021 (UTC)

Thanks very much, Zawed! HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 17:39, 23 February 2021 (UTC)

Looks good, I have added my support. I really admire your work on war memorials, I'll keep an eye out for this one at FAC. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 09:02, 25 February 2021 (UTC)

Comments Support by Dumelow

Looking good, I've only got down to the start of the History section but a few comments so far - Dumelow (talk) 12:23, 22 February 2021 (UTC)

• On each side of the obelisk, near the top, is a bronze wreath and a stone cross protruding from the body itself. The only inscription on the obelisk itself is... - Close repetition of "itself", any way to reword this or omit one?
  • Eliminated one.
• Buttresses protruding from the pedestal on four sides act as steps - I am guessing "steps" is an architectural term? There is no way of stepping onto the buttresses themselves.
  • In this usage, yes.
• each statue standing with its head bowed and resting on an upturned rifle. - Link "resting on an upturned rifle" to Reverse arms?
  • Oooh, good shout! Done.
• The figures were designed modelled by Ambrose Neale - A word needs to be omitted (or added)
  • Ce'd.
• "R. L. Boulton & Sons" is linked at second mention in the main text and not the first
  • Moved.
• R. L. Boulton & Sons of Cheltenham, who built the memorial - you've already mentioned they are the builder in the Background section
  • Eliminated.

In the History section - Dumelow (talk) 13:07, 22 February 2021 (UTC)

• Among the other speakers were Ernest Sykes, who worked in the engineering department and was awarded the Victoria Cross for his actions during the war - we've already mentioned Sykes and that he won a VC in the background section. Though it was a while back so I am not dead-set against repeating it as a reminder to the reader if that was the intention.
  • Trimmed. That was the purpose but you're probably right.
• The section about the 1919 strike caught me a little by surprise. Perhaps it would be best reordered with a variant of the 5th sentence as the leading sentence to introduce it?
  • Good idea. Done.
• Was the Roll of Honour a separate document to the commemorative album mentioned earlier? Both were presented to the nearest relatives of the deceased and contain similar information?
  • Very likely. Fixed.
• Worth mentioning in the penultimate sentence that the lodges are also grade II listed?
  • Another good idea. Done.

Lead section - Dumelow (talk) 13:24, 22 February 2021 (UTC)

• The map coord is showing about 30m off for me on Google Maps satellite view. At 6 decimal places it is also probably too precise. Degrees, minutes, seconds might be better? I think 51°31′38.1″N 0°07′57.2″W is about right.
  • Done.
• The fact that LNWR paid £8,500 of the cost is explicit in the lead but only implied in the main text
  • Added.
• The memorial was unusual in featuring an airman so prominently - maybe "unusual for the period", or similar. It is not unusual now.
  • I think this is sufficient for the lead. The body says "unusual among First World War memorials" but the lead is supposed to be concise.

@Dumelow: Thanks very much for the review. A couple of good ideas in there! HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 17:39, 23 February 2021 (UTC)

Looks good to me, Support - Dumelow (talk) 16:27, 24 February 2021 (UTC)

HF

• " (which was amalgamated to form the Royal Air Force in 1918)" - What was it amalgamated with?
  • The Royal Naval Air Service, but that's getting a long way away from the topic of the memorial.
• " The company also produced a Roll of Honour, a copy of which was presented to the nearest living relative of each of the dead." - Is this the "commemorative album" mentioned and described a couple paragraphs earlier?
  • Very likely. Also caught by Dumelow above.
• According to the sources, the lodges are listed as Grade II should this be mentioned explicitly?
  • Done (also per Dumelow!).
• Maybe provide the exact date of the Listed Building status in the body, rather than just the year?
  • The date isn't really of any great significance. It's more or less random, which is why I don't normally include it in the prose (though sometimes they list memorials on significant anniversaries and I mention that).

Excellent work, that's all I can find to nitpick. Hog Farm _Talk 16:09, 23 February 2021 (UTC)

Thanks very much, Hog Farm. HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 17:39, 23 February 2021 (UTC)

Supporting, excellent work. Hog Farm _Talk 18:35, 23 February 2021 (UTC)

• Sources are all high quality. Some tweaks made to the Bibliography - Simmons was out of order. Random spot checks performed on footnotes 6, 10, 11, 15 (both), 19 and 20. Please double-check footnote 20; the article says "neither necessary nor helpful"; my copy of the source says "neither necessary nor desirable". Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:03, 9 March 2021 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.