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Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Hugh John Casey

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Hugh John Casey edit

Nominator(s): Hawkeye7 (talk)


Continuing the series on generals in the South West Pacific Area. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:05, 13 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Support Comments at this stage:

Early life
  • "Both brothers acquired the nickname "Pat" and West Point." I think this sentence can be read two ways; they both had two nicknames, or one (Hugh) was nicknamed Pat and the other (Martin) West Point? If the latter, West Point should be added to the infobox. And it should be "nicknames" (plural).
World War I
  • "The 219th Engineers moved to Company Commander, 219th Engineers..." - I don't understand this sentence and suspect "Company Commander, 219th Engineers" should be deleted?
  • "While there, Casey improved on his high school German to become fluent enough in the language to write his Doctoral thesis in German." Bearing in mind the lead refers to a Doctor of Engineering degree, I initially read this as meaning he did his doctoral studies at this time when in fact it was later. I would delete the bit about doing his thesis in German (it is mentioned later) or perhaps reword - perhaps something like "While there, Casey improved on his high school German fluency such that in later life he was able to write his Doctoral thesis in German."?
  • "...the chief surgeon of the American forces there..." not sure where "there" is; suggest replacing "there" with "in Germany" (or Rhineland or Koblenz as the case may be).
    • It's in Koblenz, but unsure how to rephrase without repeating "Koblenz". Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:35, 3 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
      • Hmm, I see the difficulty there. I've had a go at rephrasing the sentence. Zawed (talk) 08:59, 6 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Between the wars
  • "...the Company Officers Course" - should that be "a Company..."?
  • "He was finally promoted to the substantive rank of captain on 1 May 1933". The WWI section says he was commissioned as a captain? I would consider removing "finally" as well as there is no comment on the length of time between promotions being unusual.
    • Yes and no. Back then, not so unusual due to the large number of officers commissioned during the Great War. Today it would be very unusual. Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:35, 3 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Construction division
  • "Casey set about revising the standard designs." I would clarify that the designs are for (I think) the army's standard camp buildings. Perhaps Casey set about revising the army's standard designs for its cantonment buildings" (if you go with that, move the wikilink I added to the article for cantonment).
Southwest Pacific
  • "The other, known as the Abau Trail held the possibility." - This sentence seems incomplete? Possibility of what?
  • Some of the contents of a couple paragraphs seem a bit off topic and could be shortened; particularly most of the 3rd paragraph and the portion about the shifting of HQs at Tanauan airfield.
  • I made some edits as I went through this article so please check they are satisfactory. Cheers. Zawed (talk) 09:45, 3 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • All good, added my support. Zawed (talk) 08:59, 6 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Support the writing is extremely tight. Just a few suggestions. —Ed!(talk) 19:34, 8 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

  • "One of Casey's duties was keeping Oliphant proficient at mathematics." -- so he was Oliphant's sub and tutor? You might want to clarify.
  • On the file, File:Hugh J. Casey.jpg, you should indicate in the caption the year the photo was taken.
  • The last few lines discussing his retirement in one line and death fifteen years later are somewhat abrupt. Any idea of what he did in retirement? Even saying "he lived a quiet life" might cover it without the appearance of an omission.
    • If I knew, I would, but I have no idea. Hawkeye7 (talk) 13:44, 10 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Since the medal bar isn't visible currently, the list of decorations in the infobox will need a cite.
  • On that note, I wouldn't ordinarily say you need to include a line about decorations in the prose, but the Distinguished Service Cross is an exception since it is such a high award. Just a sentence, please. here is the citation if you need it.
    • Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 13:44, 10 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
      • Great. All my comments have been addressed to my satisfaction. —Ed!(talk) 14:05, 10 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support, pending Ed's comments above. I made a couple of spelling corrections for American English, but otherwise saw no issues. Great work as usual, Hawkeye. Parsecboy (talk) 11:57, 9 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • CommentSupport
    • No dab links [1] (no action required).
    • External links check out [2] (no action required).
    • Images lack Alt Text [3] so you might consider adding it (suggestion only - not an ACR requirement).
    • The Citation Check Tool reveals no errors with reference consolidation (no action required).
    • Images are all public domain or licensed and seem appropriate to the article (no action required).
    • The Earwig Tool doesn't appear to be working at the moment so I was unable to check for copyright violations, although given the author's past contributions I have no reason to believe this would be an issue [4] (no action required).
    • Why is citation # 29 in parenthesis? Seems inconsistent.
    • "Hugh John ('Pat') Casey (24 July 1898 – 30 August 1981) was a Major General...", shouldn't major general be in lower case?
    • Typo here? "and an adequate numbers of engineer depot units...", perhaps "number"?
    • Repetitive language here: "meet the demands imposed by base development in such a demanding theater", perhaps reword?
    • Is there a missing word here: "In August 1982, a new building at the Humphreys Engineer Center at Fort Belvoir was dedicated in his honor Dorothy and the Chief of Engineers, Lieutenant General Joseph K. Bratton..."? It doesn't read quite right to me.
    • Otherwise, excellent. Anotherclown (talk) 06:12, 14 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
      • Thanks for your review! Much appreciated! I hope in the new year that I will have more time to review now that the book deadlines are past. Hawkeye7 (talk) 13:36, 14 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. Please check the edit summaries. - Dank (push to talk)

  • "Casey decided that winning games was more important than playing, and he helped keep Oliphant proficient.": I'm not sure what this means. - Dank (push to talk) 23:10, 15 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • That if Oliphant flunked out, Casey got to play football. Added "at math". Hawkeye7 (talk) 04:22, 16 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Hugh John ('Pat') Casey": I went with Hugh John "Pat" Casey; there aren't any options that everyone likes, but I think that would win a vote. Single quotes are out per WP:MOS#Quotation marks. The quote marks mean that he was generally called "Pat", not just in the service or just for a short time. - Dank (push to talk) 20:54, 15 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "On their honeymoon they traveled through south Germany, Austria, and Switzerland.": What's the significance? - Dank (push to talk) 05:07, 16 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • His interest in Germany, and picking up the German language. It seems btw, that US officers with detailed knowledge of Germany like Krueger, Casey and Willoughby were invariably sent to the Pacific. Hawkeye7 (talk) 13:57, 16 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support on prose per standard disclaimer. These are my edits. - Dank (push to talk) 14:22, 16 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Image review: fine, although I don't understand the Australian tags (well, they're superfluous, anyway) - the fact that the US government considers works of its federal employees in the public domain applies worldwide. Grandiose (me, talk, contribs) 16:42, 19 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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