Wikipedia:Peer review/Conquest of the Western Turks/archive1

Conquest of the Western Turks edit

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to nominate it as a Featured Article. The article is currently a Good Article, but may still need improvement.

Thanks, Typing General (talk) 22:18, 13 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Always good to see articles on this part of the world!

Worth getting it copyedited - there are a range of minor bits that will need fixing before a FA review, e.g.:

"The Tang Dynasty (June 18, 618 – June 1, 907), successors of the Sui Dynasty, was a cosmopolitan Chinese dynasty and one of China's most expansive empires." a dynasty is a group of people; an empire is a geographical polity.

Now fixed.--Typing General (talk) 03:31, 2 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"The battle of Irtysh River was fought along the Irtysh River near the Altai Mountains." - repeats Irtysh River twice in close succession

Now fixed.--Typing General (talk) 03:31, 2 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Capitalisation of "king" - check how the MOS wants this used, but I think you need a few more capitals.

Only capitalized where king acts as an official title.--Typing General (talk) 03:31, 2 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Neither of qaghans were able to successfully exert control." - missing word

Now fixed.--Typing General (talk) 03:31, 2 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"The king of Kucha fled with his soldiers to the kingdom of Aksu. After a forty-day siege, the ruler was captured " - which ruler?

Now fixed.--Typing General (talk) 03:31, 2 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Check that you've defined all the key phrases - e.g. a "qaghan" is...? Hchc2009 (talk) 06:51, 27 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Qaghan has been defined.--Typing General (talk) 03:31, 2 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the review.--Typing General (talk) 03:47, 31 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]