Wikipedia

Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Lage Raho Munna Bhai/archive1

< Wikipedia:Featured article candidates‎ | Lage Raho Munna Bhai
The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article review. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted 20:57, 14 January 2007.

Lage Raho Munna Bhai edit

This article on an India film is having good reference, conforms FA norms and moreover this film have left a big impact on the viewers and have own a number of awards. I think this article should be made FA. Amartyabag (Talk) 07:20, 8 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]

  • Comment. Could you give a Hindi transliteration for the title? --Brand спойт 12:16, 8 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose. Not bad, but I don't think it is yet featured quality.

First of all, bad writing. For example, the second sentence says "In this film..." - well, duh! Of course its "in this film" - you havent talked about any other films. Similar issues exist throughout the article so I suggest referring it to the "League of copyeditors" or whatever they are called.

Secondly, the synopsis is much much much too long. It shuld not be more than 5 paragraphs. I read on the talkpage that you were influenced by the starwars articles, unfortunately I think they are very poor examples of featured articles. Tenebrae (film) is much nicer for dealing with a non-US film, and works as a much better guide. This article should cover all the subjects covered over there.

The characters list is also unnecessary. Any decent plot summary can introduce the important characters in the prose, making this horrible list redundant. If you must have a casting section, look at the prose version in the Halloween (film) article. Much nicer, no? "Production and prepartion" is also far too short. This should be one of the major sections in an article about a movie after all. Here it looks like an afterthought. I would like to see many more comments from the director, the writer and other production staff, not just the actors. Awards are part of a film's "Reception" so really they should be incorporated into the appropriate section. And again, preferably as prose.

The soundtrack again is a big list. Lists are bad! ;)

Also, i'm not sure but I think every image that is used as "fair use" (like these ones) needs to have a special rationale written about why it is fair use. One of the images is pushing the "Reception" header to the right also. All headers should be neatly aligned on the left though. The images are too big also. I think this is because you have specified the pixel size. If you remove that, it should automatically resize for all different brower shapes and sizes. So please remove that as well.

That is my initial impressions, without going into too much detail. Hope it helps. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 86.27.143.159 (talk • contribs).

All your problems, apart form referring it to the "League of Copyeditors" have been addressed. Nobleeagle [TALK] [C] 03:58, 12 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]

(edit conflict)

  • Oppose, prose problems. Here are samples taken from the article:
  1. The film will be remade in Telugu, Tamil, and Kannada.[58] → prediction (not yet a fact).
  2. Rajinikanth, Kamal Haasan and Jayam Ravi have all been considered to star in the Tamil version, [59] which will be directed by M. Raja [60]. → redundancy (bold) & also a prediction.
  3. A 02 October 2006 article in The Washington Post,... → try with date.
  4. In addition, according to Jahnu Barua, director of Maine Gandhi Ko Nahin Mara, a drama which utilized... → redundancy.
There are also noticeable WP:MOS problems (space between ref & punc) and some sections are still too stubby. Note to the editors, the above are just samples. I'm sure there are many more. Please don't fix only items above. Circulate first to other copyeditors to improve the prose and expand the stubby sections, before renominate it again. BTW, you should put this article into peer review first before. — Indon (reply) — 16:10, 8 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • One of the better film articles, but definitely not there yet. 1) Needs significant copyediting. I saw many errors and examples of awkward phrasing in my initial look through. Just a quick example "The soundtrack is, however, released before the film and possesses no accompanying visuals." That has poor grammar and it doesn't really fit together as an idea. 2) Overall the prose doesn't flow well from idea to idea. There are a lot of short and choppy paragraphs and lists that compound the problem. 3) The minor characters should probably be excises from the character list and replace with good prose on the most important characters. Same for the soundtrack. I don't see any justification for discussing almost every song. A link to the soundtrack listing would be good though. 4) The awards section list is suboptimal. Try to write a pragraph or two about the awards instead of lists and how the film did. I reallize some other FA's use lists, but that doesn't make it a good thing. 5) Citing that it is available on DVD is a little strange. Of course it is, are any films not these days? When was the DVD release date? 6) Needs a much shorter plot summary, shoot for about half the current amount. The other material that is covered is much more important. 7) I reallize it was recently released, so there's not much if any coverage on it in books, but really work to find the highest quality sources available. That's really critical for a topic like this. Great base to work from, keep up the good work. - Taxman Talk 03:46, 10 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]
    Updated based on Nobleagle's comment and clarified a point. - Taxman Talk 23:08, 10 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]
    Great improvements. I'd still say the plot summary should be 20-30% shorter, but I'll let other's weigh in. Still a lot of work needed on the flow of the prose, too many short, one and two sentence paragraphs that all need to be expanded, merged with related material, or removed. Even the second lead section paragraph is an example. The remakes section is also. It should be merged into another section most likely, since there's not going to be enough material for more than a paragraph. - Taxman Talk 23:14, 11 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]
    I have attempted to address your concerns 2 and 5. 5 is fine but if there's still some concern over short and non-fluent paragraphs and sentences then please tell me which sections they are in and I'll fix them. I understand your point number 7, but I would like you to tell me which sources would be necessary to replace to make progress in this FAC. Nobleeagle [TALK] [C] 23:36, 11 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]
    There's six or seven paragraphs that qualify, from the second paragraph of the lead to the first paragraph of theh Production and preparation section to both paragraphs in Cinematic and musical allusions. In addition both of those sections are too small to justify they're own subsection as is Box office and ratings and Remakes. If the idea is not important enough to have a couple paragraphs of space devoted to it, then it doesn't justify it's own section. Everything must be prioritized according to importance to the subject. Something has to be more important to justify more space and a subsection. Also the last paragraph in Reception is just one sentence. I haven't had a chance to re-read all of the prose, but there's no substitute to reading through sentence by sentence and seeing how they flow together as ideas. I can't fully fix it myself because I don't know the subject all that well. As far as sources, I don't know which ones to tell you to replace, just to find the best available. - Taxman Talk 17:59, 12 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • CONDITIONAL OPPOSE. While a good article, and rather well-written (I wouldn't quite say brilliant, but I won't hold it against this article as it is quite better than average). Images need to be better spaced in the article for balance and aesthetics. Right now, they're grouped in clusters, not spread out evenly throughout the article. Size/pixel parameters for thumbnail images should be removed to accomodate of user preferences/defaults. Some words that an native Indian would know (likely Hindi), are not adequately or sufficiently translated or explained in English, and make sections (especially plot and cultural impact) incomprehensible for non-Indian readers, or those not familiar with Indian culture. Fix these, and I will rescind my opposition. —ExplorerCDT 09:40, 10 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article review. No further edits should be made to this page.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Featured_article_candidates/Lage_Raho_Munna_Bhai/archive1&oldid=1140396007"