Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Geelong, Victoria/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted 22:39, 7 January 2008.

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Geelong, Victoria

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I'm nominating this article for featured article because it has been though a Peer Review, all concerns have been addressed, and I believe the article covers all criteria for a featured article and covers the city in depth. Wongm (talk) 10:19, 29 December 2007 (UTC)

• Comment: You have fact tags and one-sentence paragraphs in the article. Were these not caught in the peer review? --Moni3 (talk) 17:01, 29 December 2007 (UTC)
• Oppose per Moni3. I see a few unreferenced paragraphs, fact tags and short paragraphs with only one or two sentences. References 2, 17, 30, 35, 40, 41, 43, 59, 67, 79, 86, 88, 89 and 94 have formatting problems. Improve the article and try GA first. --Kaypoh (talk) 06:05, 30 December 2007 (UTC)

• Reply:  Done Fact tags, unreferenced paragraphs, reference formatting and short paragraphs addressed. Done a bit of copyediting as well. Wongm (talk) 14:46, 30 December 2007 (UTC)

• Oppose—1a. Here are samples from the opening. The whole text needs careful copy-editing by someone unfamiliar with it.
  • Reps: largest/city/state/Australia/largest/state/city/largest/cities/Australia/city/state/City, all in five lines.
  • "car manufacturer Ford Australia, and"—remove the comma.
  • "Geelong was named in 1837 by Governor Richard Burke, with the name derived from the local"—"with" is a poor connector, and it's already overused.
  • MOS: double quotes required for terms.
  • "mid-1850s".
  • Get rid of the US spelling: "rivaLLing"
  • "The city then diversified into manufacturing, rivaling Sydney, Hobart and Melbourne as woollen mills, ropeworks, and paper mills were established,[5] but the next few decades saw the population stay relatively constant, until the 19th century."—Does "but" introduce a contradiction here?
  • "Geelong was proclaimed a city in 1910, with industrial growth from this time until the 1960s establishing the city as a manufacturing centre for the state,"—FOR the state? Sounds like Soviet-style state-ownership of industry. "Growth establishing the city" is ungrammatical, and again, "with" as an unsatisfatory back-connector. "... 1910; from this time until the190s, industrial growth established the ...". Tony (talk) 15:50, 31 December 2007 (UTC)

• I have listed the article at Wikipedia:WikiProject League of Copyeditors/Requests/Geelong, Victoria for an outsider to check it. Wongm (talk) 06:42, 1 January 2008 (UTC)

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.