User talk:Thefiveofus/sandbox

Peer Review

My first advice is purely visual, and that would be to bolden the header section for "Arab World" just to make it appear more uniform and match the formatting for a previous section on generations in the Western world. I found your contributions adding greatly to the page, giving users an idea of what the current peer group in the middle east are experiencing. You seem to have a wealth of references, all correctly cited as well. In the first sentence however I might change the wording a bit, instead of "The Arab world compromises 20 countries and territories as designated by the Arab league."; I would change it to "The Arab world is comprised of 20 countries etc." The next sentence appears to need some work as well, instead of saying "youth between the ages of 15 and 29 years old" try saying "Youth is defined as being between the ages of 15-29 and represents over 32% of the Arab region population."

Other than a few grammatical tweaks or changes, I think you have a great article!

Zombiesatemyneighbors (talk) 20:26, 10 November 2014 (UTC)

I loved your addition to the arab nation section. After reviewing your piece on the arab nation I was pleased to see the great research you did on the technology piece and the social abilities that this provides. I called the movements social movements and activism in my changes. I think that you made changes to the youth in Tansia I was confused by what the youth having a different view from the government meant. Was the implication a shift in control? Was a social movement part of this process? I am wondering if you should move the number of Facebook users increase in the technology section earlier in the section to show how the increase in new users plays a role. In the employment section it says that the jobs are decreasing over time, you may want to explain why this is happening(is it education?)

I also changed some of the wording but I am not a master editor so you may need to make it better. Lastly I thought that you could use a couple articles that we used in class to enhance the article. ARAB WORLD by Booth could speak to challenges faced by Arabs with employment and transitions for girls and boys TIME PASS by Craig could show the complex problems that unemployment and eduction cause it would tie nicely with the employment question above. If you need a picture you could put one of the arab nation area. I think we are supposed to have a picture but you may want to clarify this. Overall I think your article looks good. Samjam830 (talk) 04:01, 8 November 2014 (UTC)