Talk:Sarah Vinci/GA1
Latest comment: 10 years ago by Hawkeye7 in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 18:10, 19 July 2013 (UTC)
Comments
- Lead is two sentences long. This is not an adequate summary of the article by a long way.
- Don't use abbreviations like TAFE without expanding them first.
- What is a "certificate III/IV"?
- Avoid single-sentence paras, suggest you merge the first and second paras of the "Wheelchair basketball" section.
- Use en-dash to separate scores in a scoreline, so not 65-58, more 65–58. Check others.
- " Kevin Coombs Cup" what does this mean?
- I'd suggest at some point somewhere you link Wheelchair basketball.
- Don't think the gallery is required at all.
- I wanted to show her in her Western Stars guernsey.
- You don't need a gallery for that, just a slightly longer article which you can add more images to... The Rambling Man (talk) 17:17, 22 July 2013 (UTC)
- I wanted to show her in her Western Stars guernsey.
- "Season statistics [24]" remove space before [24].
- Don't have multiple hyphens in table, an en- or em-dash would be fine.
- Spare hyphen in the title of ref 8?
- Check refs so things like The Age are in italics, as they are works.
- Ref 8 seems to be published by Yahoo, can you double check that all refs are correctly attributed to work and publisher?
- The newspaper is The West Australian, the daily newspaper of Perth (pop. 1.9 million). The story appeared in both its print and online versions. The Seven Network, one of Australia's three commercial television networks, owns The West Australian. It also owns 50% of Yahoo!7, a joint venture with Yahoo. This is why The Western Australia doesn't use its own domain; but Yahoo!7 is just providing the internet infrastructure. The Western Australia is the publisher. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 21 July 2013 (UTC)
The Rambling Man (talk) 20:06, 21 July 2013 (UTC)
Few more things
- "lost to the Canada." drop the the.
- Are there links you can use for the other national Paralympic basketball teams?
- Should have said it before, but any chance of a ref for Gliders being the nick of the Aus national team?
- In the stats table, I would put the season first, then the competition. I would also be consistent with whether the stats (or dashes) are centrally-aligned or left-aligned.
- The Key is a little overwhelming, would you consider reshaping it so it doesn't create so much whitespace on either side of it?
The Rambling Man (talk) 15:45, 23 July 2013 (UTC)
GA criteria edit
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Too many images, gallery doesn't add anything, the lead image shows what she looks like, the other images provide nothing more.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
Address the comments, and all good as far as I can tell. It's a little light but there's not much more you can say about a young athlete like this. I'll place it on hold for a week pending updates. Cheers! The Rambling Man (talk) 20:06, 21 July 2013 (UTC)