Talk:Reflections (concert residency)/GA1
Latest comment: 2 months ago by MaranoFan in topic GA Review
GA Review
editThe following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Nominator: Pseud 14 (talk · contribs) 04:36, 11 May 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: MaranoFan (talk · contribs) 12:25, 12 June 2024 (UTC)
- "It began on November 4, 2005, and concluded on December 10, 2005, after completing eight shows" - "completing" can probably be omitted here without detracting from the meaning
- Removed
- "The influence of artists such as Mariah Carey, Sheena Easton, and Whitney Houston was particularly apparent in her musical style" - I would go for something simpler, like "Her musical style was influenced by artists such as Mariah Carey, Sheena Easton, and Whitney Houston"
- Revised as suggested
- "She admires Houston's R&B sound and Carey's songwriting, and cites various OPM artists, including Sharon Cuneta and Kuh Ledesma, as her role models." - While I am sure she still admires them, this sticks out as the only present tense sentence among a past tense paragraph so you could make it past tense too.
- Thanks for catching this. I have switched to past tense
- "When explaining the concept and title of the show, Velasquez asserted, "It will be like a retrospective concert ...it will be an evening for looking back on how I started". - Maybe make the second comma a colon (:)
- Done
- "Velasquez then appeared onstage and joined the singers as the number continued" - Is there a more formal-sounding word that could be used instead of "number", like maybe performance?
- Agreed. changed
- Same question about this part: "After the number, she sat centerstage"
- Did some tweaking on this as well.
- The sources are all the same ones generally used in this series of articles so I am sure they are fine on the reliability front. I have some minor concerns about notability but GAN isn't the venue for that.
- That's all I could come up with. Looks like another great article that is ready to join your other ones about Velasquez. Happy to pass this once these are addressed.--NØ 14:51, 12 June 2024 (UTC)
- Thanks for taking up this review MaranoFan. Appreciate your comments and suggestions. All have been actioned. Let me know if I may have missed anything. Pseud 14 (talk) 15:29, 12 June 2024 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.