Wikipedia

Talk:I Could Fall in Love/GA1

< Talk:I Could Fall in Love
Latest comment: 11 years ago by AJona1992 in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

Latest comment: 11 years ago33 comments2 people in discussion
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: DAP388 (talk · contribs) 00:17, 1 July 2012 (UTC)Reply

I love this song, so I shall be reviewing the article. —DAP388 (talk) 00:17, 31 June 2012 (UTC)Reply

Sorry for the late review. Let's begin, shall we?

Lead
  • "It was released by EMI Latin on 25 or 26 June 1995, as the album's lead single alongside 'Tú Sólo Tú', showcasing Selena's musical transition from Spanish to English." Given that at least two publications stated that the song was released on June 26, you should go with the latter.
  • "The negative consequences forces the narrator to feel uncertain and scared of rejection, decides not to reveal her true feelings." -> "In spite of the woman's true feelings for her companion, the fear of rejection overcomes her."
  • "Because 'I Could Fall in Love' was not released as a physical single, in fear that the single would sell more copies than the album itself, it was ineligible for the Hot 100 chart." This sounds a bit contradictory. The first part states that it wasn't released as a physical single, but are cassettes and CDs not considered physical?
    • It was released to radios through a promotional recording, the CD (which I have) states "This is only for promotional use, not for retail sale". So I changed it to promotional recording and digital download. Best, Jonayo! Selena 4 ever 23:29, 6 July 2012 (UTC)Reply
  • "The song reached the top ten on the singles charts of Canada, and New Zealand." The comma after "Canada" is unnecessary.
  • "Furthermore, because of Selena's death; which took place several months earlier by her friend and ex-employer Yolanda Saldivar, it failed to receive any certifications." This is an oddly structured sentence. Perhaps this is better, "However, it failed to acquired any certifications, despite Selena's death, which took place several months earlier by her friend and ex-employer Yolanda Saldivar."
  • "Directed by Hector Galan, the single's accompanying music video was shot with a montage of pictures and videos of live performances collected by Selena's family." Just to avoid confusion, this sentence should be reworded. Try this, "Directed by Hector Galan, the accompanying music video was shot featuring a montage of pictures and videos of live performances of Selena, which were collected by her family."
Background
  • "Before Selena signed a record deal with major recording label EMI Latin in 1989, she implied that she wanted to start recording albums in English." There is some awkward phrasing here. There are better substitutions for "implied". How about "hinted" or "suggested"?
  • "After reviewing Selena's demos, Koppelman declined a crossover attempt; later confessing that he believed Selena needed a bigger fan base first." Why is there a semicolon in lieu of a comma?
  • "Koppelman believed Selena reached her peak in the Spanish market and began preparations on recording a crossover album for Selena." Add a "that" between "believed" and "Selena".
  • "Selena, and her brother and principle record producer A.B. Quintanilla III, arrived in Nashville, Tennessee. They both arrived to meet up with songwriter Keith Thomas, in hopes to begin recording a song Thomas had written." This can all be fused together. Try this, "Selena and her record producer—sibling A. B. Quintanilla, arrived in Nashville, Tennessee with the objective of collaborating with Keith Thomas."
  • Is there an evidence of the recording process?
    • Nope, I searched google archives and only found commentaries, ratings, and how it impact radios. Best, Jonayo! Selena 4 ever 23:29, 6 July 2012 (UTC)Reply
  • "The song was released simultaneously with 'Tú Sólo Tú'; as lead singles, they were meant to demonstrate the concept of Selena's musical transition from recording songs in Spanish to English." Ouch. Move the semicolon between "singles" and "they".
  • Be consistent with the dating format.
Composition and lyrical interpretation
  • Piano is spelled as "paino".
  • "The instrumentation includes a bass drum, a keyboard, a flamenco guitar,. Spanish guitar, and synthesizers." Remove the period between "guitar" and "Spanish".
  • "Selena uses a soft-deep soprano voice and her emotional range." What does this mean?
  • "Tarradell believed that the lines: "I know it's not right but I guess I should try to do what I should do." was directed to Abraham, allowing Selena to become a full grown women who is in charge of her own life decisions." -> "Tarradell asserted that the lines, "I know it's not right but I guess I should try to do what I should do", were directed towards Abraham, reflecting Selena's revelation of becoming an independent woman."
  • "Selena sings the first verse telling her crush to walk away because her emotions are too overpowering and forcing the narrator to feel a rush of unprecedented amounts of love." -> "Selena sings the first verse, telling her crush to walk away because her emotions are too overpowering, subsequently forcing the narrator to feel a rush of an unprecedented amount of love."
Review
  • "Ed Morales of Vibe magazine wrote that "I Could Fall in Love" had John Secada-feels because of its syncopated drums" -> "Ed Morales of Vibe magazine felt that because of its syncopated drums, "I Could Fall in Love" contain a John Secada-esque demeanor"
  • I noticed that some of the descriptions directly derived from the reviews. Unless they are in quotations, it needs to be restated in your own words. Otherwise, it's plagiarism.
  • On that same note, be creative. There are a lot of instances where you used "believed" and "wrote", and it become very repetitious. How about others such as "opined", "avouched", or "professed"?
  • "Jim Farber also from the New York Daily News wrote that 'I Could Fall in Love' is a 'sumptuous pop hi[t].'" -> "Jim Farber, also from the New York Daily News, wrote that "I Could Fall in Love" is a "sumptuous pop hi[t].""
Recognition and accolades
  • ""I Could Fall in Love" became one of Selena's most famous songs. It also helped her gain English language speaking fans." -> "I Could Fall in Love" became one of Selena's most famous songs. which enabled her to break through language barriers, particularly among her English-speaking fans."
Chart performance
  • No issues
Music video
  • No issues
Cultural impact
  • "According to many critics, "I Could Fall in Love" dominated the Top 40 radio stations." The "according to many critics" is not needed, since enough sources assert that song indeed did such.
  • ""I Could Fall in Love" became the most played song in Kansas City, Miami, and Boston. While it was the second-most played song in Los Angeles." Why is there a period in lieu of a comma?
  • Is there a source to support the Los Angeles bit?
  • "A San Antonio disc jockey, Suzy Camacho told The Victoria Advocate about the overwhelming response from English speaking audiences who were constantly calling her radio station asking for "I Could Fall in Love"." Add a comma between "audiences" and "who".
  • "Lets Get Loud Tour" should not be italicized.
  • "On February 11, 2003, Lopez included the song on her live video Jennifer Lopez: Let's Get Loud." Add album between "video" and "Jennifer".
  • Again, the "recorded" this, "recorded" that get very repetitive. Change it up.
    I fixed it.

There are a lot of prose issues within the article. On hold for seven days. —DAP388 (talk) 22:36, 6 July 2012 (UTC)Reply

The issues have been resolved. Happy to pass this article. —DAP388 (talk) 00:54, 7 July 2012 (UTC)
Thanks for the review and for passing the article. Best, Jonayo! Selena 4 ever 02:13, 7 July 2012 (UTC)Reply
Add topic
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:I_Could_Fall_in_Love/GA1&oldid=1136270767"