Talk:Formosa Air Battle/GA1

Latest comment: 6 years ago by Hawkeye7 in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: Hawkeye7 (talk · contribs) 20:35, 12 October 2017 (UTC)Reply


GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it well written?
    A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:  
    B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:  
  2. Is it verifiable with no original research?
    A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:  
    Some issues; see below
    B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:  
    Some issues; see below
    C. It contains no original research:  
    D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:  
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:  
    B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):  
  4. Is it neutral?
    It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:  
  5. Is it stable?
    It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:  
  6. Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
    A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:  
    All images have appropriate licences. (I would have used File:B6N torpedo bomber attacking TG 38.3 during the Formosa Air Battle, October 1944.jpg in the infobox.)
    B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:  
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:  


Comments
  • "Admiral Marc Mitscher" -> "Vice Admiral Marc Mitscher"
  • "Admiral Ryūnosuke Kusaka" -> "Vice Admiral Ryūnosuke Kusaka"
  • "Admiral Shigeru Fukudome" -> "Vice Admiral Shigeru Fukudome"
  • "Admiral Jisaburō Ozawa" -> "Vice Admiral Jisaburō Ozawa"
  • "Admiral Gerald F. Bogan" -> "Rear Admiral Gerald F. Bogan"
  • "Admiral Frederick C. Sherman" -> "Rear Admiral Frederick C. Sherman"
  • "Admiral Teraoka" -> "Vice Admiral Kimpei Teraoka"
  • "Admiral Toyoda" Skip the ranks on the second and subsequent appearance
  • "could not risk a return trip home" You could mention that Toyoda believed that his two predecessors had been shot down.
  • space after "3rd Air Fleet"
  • "Kusaka correctly saw these strikes as a precursor to U.S. troop landings" Landings where? The reader could reasonably infer Formosa. This is supported by your saying he triggered Sho-2.
  • "Lt. General Tominaga" -> Lieutenant General Kyoji Tominaga. Please don't abbreviate the ranks.
  • Link Fourth Air Army (Japan)
  • Link Formosa
  • I don't suppose we could find a map of the area?
There are available maps of Formosa and target areas could be superimposed on these. That leaves out Crippled Division and the U.S. carrier track steaming between Formosa and the Philippines, though. The only map I've seen specific to the Formosa Air Battle comes from Prados's Storm Over Leyte. I could try to emulate that to an extent but my skills vis a vis map making are pretty lackluster. I agree that a map would be nice to have.
  • Any idea what types of planes were available?
I can easily Wikilink the planes U.S. forces were using but it's going to be more complicated talking about IJNAF/IJAAF planes. There was a huge hodgepodge being employed by the Japanese at this point, since there were Army land-based, Navy land-based and Navy carrier aircraft present, as well as trainer planes. I'll make a note concerning the special radar-equipped night attacks coming from Tgogeki Butai (T Air Attack Force) and the sorts of planes they were using. I'll look back through the ACA Reps as well to see what kinds of planes were claimed by Navy aviators so I can try to make some kind of list or insert plane names/Wikilinks where appropriate.
I added in IJAAS/IJNAS fighter types to the 12 October narrative to help identify aircraft present during the battle.
  • You suddenly start using the abbreviations TG 38.2 etc. Suggest defining them, along with TF 38, in the OrBat
  • Define the abbreviations IJNAS and IJNAAS
  • "Intrepid and Bunker Hill" Keep the names of the ships in italics
  • Per MOS:TIME, times should be rendered as 15:30 etc
  • Link Essex-class aircraft carrier
  • "CTF 38" -> Mitscher"
  • "Halsey" appears for the first time on 15 October, but you haven't him his full name, or told the reader who he was.
  • Link VF-14, CAG-13
The VF-14 linked above is not the VF-14 which served during WWII — at that time they were VB-4. The CAG-13 link above is correct but the WWII air group is mentioned only tangentially, to the point where Wikilinking seems pointless since the link does not yield further information about the group.
  • You haven't said what a bogey is. Suggest adding a note.
Placing review on hold. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:35, 12 October 2017 (UTC)Reply
All points addressed. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:14, 13 October 2017 (UTC)Reply