Talk:Everybody (Madonna song)/GA1

GA Review

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Starting to review the article based on Wikipedia:Good article criteria:

1. Well-written: (a) the prose is clear and the spelling and grammar are correct (b) complies with the manual of style guidelines. Left some notes below.
2. Factually accurate and verifiable. Reliable sources checked.
3. Broad in its coverage: Covers standard topic areas for a single → Background, music breakdown, reception, live performances, video, credits. Though it could use more detail on the songs origin (the article introduces it already made as a rough tape).
4. Neutral.
5. Stable.
6. Illustrated: Do we know who the copyright holder is on File:Everybodymusicvideo.jpg ("...and provides attribution to the copyright holder.") and File:Everybody.jpg?

• Updated the copyrighter's names. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 04:26, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Signed maclean 19:37, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

Notes as I review:

• "Background" - 1st paragraph
  • Can "...trying to set up her career." be made more specific? what kind of career? in dancing, singing, or just generally in the music or entertaining industry?
  • "...of her band. However after that, they abandoned hard-rock, got signed by a music management company called Gotham records[2] and decided to pursue music in the funk genre. But they left that plan also." - I'm confused on the progression here. (1) what kind of band was it? (2) if they abandoned hard rock, what were they playing when they signed the deal? (3) they only started playing funk after they were signed? (4) left what plan? does 'plan' mean that genre or that band or that management company deal?
    • Corrected the flow. Please check whether its coherent now. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 04:26, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
      • Still a little confused on the transition between hard rock and funk. "they abandoned hard-rock and got signed" - so they were playing funk when they got signed? --maclean 05:39, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
  • A more general issue with this paragraph is that there is no conclusion to Bray and M's band. It is an awkward transition from the band's fortunes to M carrying around singles - unless there is a connection it should be two separate paragraphs. Where did the singles comes from? Did the singles have anything to do with Bray or the band? At what point did she leave the band?
• "Background" - 2nd paragraph
  • "Kamins, who took over from Steve Bray through his romantic association with Madonna." - took over what? Did Kamins become M's boyfriend?
    • What does "...through his romantic association with Madonna" mean? Is "his" referring to Bray or Kamins?
      • Corrected the construction. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 08:16, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
  • "put "Everybody" on both sides of the CD" - CD?
• The reliability of h2g2 is debatable. Is there an alternative source that could be used to confirm or replace the info?
  • I'll find it. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 06:13, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
    • Updated. Please see if its fine. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 06:37, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
• "Reception" - 1st paragraph - "the song had "irresistible" pop hook" - the reference provided doesn't actually mention the song, but rather generally songs on the album.
  • Well, "Everybody" being one of the songs from the album, has to have a "irresistible pop hook" son't you think? --Legolas ^(talk2me) 08:16, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
• "Music video" 1st paragraph - "Radio and Sire Records had marketed..." - please make who "radio" refers to more explicit. Radio doesn't market anything, however, people or organization that use/work on the radio can market things.
  • Corrected.--Legolas ^(talk2me) 08:16, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
• "Music video" 2nd paragraph - "Michael Stewart who died after the shooting of the video" - How soon after the video shoot was Stewart killed? Is there some connection between the video shoot and Stewart's death?
  • Removed per wp:undue.--Legolas ^(talk2me) 08:16, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
• Should the video on Yahoo! video use {{Cite video}}?
  • Only if we are referring to a physically available format like a DVD, video single etc. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 08:16, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
• "Live performances" 1st paragraph - "In The Virgin Tour Madonna wore a blue see-through crop-top which revealed her black bra, a purple skirt, lacy leggings and a brightly patterened jacket. She also wore crucifixes on it as well as around her ear and neck." - What does "it" refer to?
  • Corrected. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 08:16, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
• "Live performances" - What is the significance of her wardrobe during the live performances?
  • Significance lies in the notability established by the authors and scholars who noticed how Madonna's styles from that era became a trend for younger women across the nation. Madonna's costumes and trends are a part of her persona and of her live performances. You cannot describe one without leaving the other. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 15:11, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
    • I guess so. If it was important enough to document in the references used, it is probably important enough for this article. maclean 15:54, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Conclusion

This article uses good sources and broadly covers the subject. The article meets the existing GA criteria. For future improvements, there are some instances where the prose can improve, for example eliminating unneeded words (like "also") and informal phrases (like "a hefty affair"). --maclean 15:54, 17 August 2009 (UTC)