Talk:Blind Man's Zoo/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 06:40, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I will take this on for review, as it would be appropriate for me to get the article into GA status potentially because I conducted the first review; I will use that one here to help me somewhat! --K. Peake 06:40, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

• Infobox looks good!
• "of the lead singer" → "of the band's lead singer" and this is a change you did not fully implement from the previous review

  Oh, I guess I did.  Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:21, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• ""Eat for Two" charted" → "The former of the two charted" to avoid starting two sentences in a row with the song's title

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:21, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

  Another update: I made changes to the singles info to reflect the changes in the body. --George Ho (talk) 20:25, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Update the overview of the album's reviews to mixed like it is in the body; this is one of the parts of the lead that has changed since the previous review

  I changed "mixed to positive" → "mixed". I don't know whether that would suffice. George Ho (talk) 09:21, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "number 13 in the" → "number 13 on the"

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:21, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "in the UK Albums Chart. It also was certified platinum in December 1997" → "on the UK Albums Chart, and was certified platinum in the US by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA)." and this should be the end of the sentence because otherwise it will be too long, plus you can't start two consecutive sentences with "it".

  I rearranged the sentences especially by separating the US and the UK into their respective sentences. George Ho (talk) 09:21, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

  George Ho Nice start, but I did some moderate copyediting to completely fix this part. --K. Peake 11:39, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

Background and development

• "lacked commercial success," → "had lacked commercial success," because this info is directly following info about the band at the time of the album's release

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "under the band's own record label" → "under their own record label" with the wikilink; another change I requested that was not done, it was suggested to avoid stating "the band" twice in the same sentence

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "second studio album," → "second studio album"

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "after they signed contract" → "after they signed a contract" you forgot to add the word "a", which is required for correct grammar

  I guess I did, eh?  Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "The album production occurred" → "The album's production occurred"

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Target mixing to Audio mixing (recorded music)

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Target Right Track Studios to MSR Studios

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

Themes and lyrics

• "Numerous songs on the album" → "Numerous songs on Blind Man's Zoo" and it looks like you forgot to add the title here from the previous review; that is needed because it's the start of a new section

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "The album's second track," → "Blind Man's Zoo's second track," even though the current wording was a change implemented, "the album" has since been added to prose more recently than its title hence this suggestion

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "concerns the US interventions in Central America," → "concerns the United States interventions in Central America," since that is the first time in the body that the country is mentioned

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "The third track "The Big Parade" references" → "The third track, "The Big Parade", references"

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "in Washington, D.C. and" → "in Washington, D.C., and"

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "was a ballad" → "is a ballad" with the target

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• [5][8][1] should be put in numerical order

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Target music critic to Music journalism

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Target colonization of Africa to Colonisation of Africa

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "and about a racist who" → "and a racist who"

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "boy kissing shamelessly."" → "boy kissing shamelessly"."

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• George Ho Very good to see you have responded up to here in a short amount of time; do you think all the issues will be fixed today? --K. Peake 10:00, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

Release and promotion

• "and May 15, 1989 in the UK." → "and May 15 in the United Kingdom."

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:01, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Remove wikilink on "Trouble Me"

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:01, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• You have not sourced the release dates of the track and the other two singles; add that here

  I couldn't find a reliable source verifying release dates of the singles, so I rewrote the sentence instead. --George Ho (talk) 10:01, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• You need to remove the commas from inside the speech marks of the song titles like I suggested

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:01, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "were released in a" → "were included on the" and this is another suggestion from the previous review you missed

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:01, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Target VHS album to video album per MOS:LINK2SECT, not the article and the section's hashtag

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:01, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "are included in its" → "were released on its"

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:01, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

Critical reception

• "was met with mixed reviews." → "was met with mixed reviews from music critics."

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:31, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Shouldn't the section be ordered in terms of going from most positive to most negative reviews since the reception is classified as mixed?

  I moved Anthony DeCurtis's review/statement into "Themes and lyrics" section; I haven't seen it as either positive, mixed, or negative. Nonetheless, I was able to restructure the sentences and to split paragraphs into one positive, one mixed possibly, and one negative. --George Ho (talk) 10:31, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

  George Ho This is a better placement for sure, but I changed "the album" to "it" for avoiding writing the former too much. --K. Peake 11:39, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• AllMusic should not be italicised, but at least you edited the prose for this part per my suggestion

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:31, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "Chicago Tribune reviewer Greg Kot" → "The Chicago Tribune reviewer Greg Kot" with the wikilink, props for finding the author by now however!

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:31, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "powerful lyricism [on] the" → "powerful lyricism" on "the" since there is a gap inbetween the parts before and after [on] that is not represented

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:31, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "theme of betrayal."" → "theme of betrayal"."

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:31, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

Commercial performance

• "on July 11, 1989 and then platinum for shipment of" → "on July 11, 1989, and later received a platinum certification for shipments of"

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "on December 12, 1997 by the Recording Industry Association of America," → "on December 12, 1997, both of which were awarded by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA)," since otherwise it does not sound clear that RIAA awarded the gold certification

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "achieve the certification." → "achieve the latter certification."

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "The album was certified" → "Blind Man's Zoo was certified"

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Add BPI in brackets for British Phonographic Industry

  I used parentheses instead. --George Ho (talk) 10:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

  George Ho I did mean to put (BPI) after the full name, so you are correct. --K. Peake 11:39, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "on the Hot 100" → "on the Billboard Hot 100" because that is the proper name of the chart

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

Track listing

• Source: CD album booklet → Credits are adapted from the album's booklet.

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:53, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• The sentence on the line below this one should be a different sentence on the same line, with the ref coming after both of them

  I converted the all_lyrics parameter into manually written sentence. Please let me know if you want further changes. --George Ho (talk) 10:53, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

  George Ho The sentence is fine, but shouldn't the ref solely be at the end of the line since it is the only one? --K. Peake 11:39, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

Personnel

• Add "Credits are adapted from the album's booklet." at the top of this section, making that the sole place where [2] is invoked
• ("Trouble Me") → (track 4)

Charts

• See MOS:TABLECAPTION

  Unsure which part is necessary. If captions, then I've added them. George Ho (talk) 11:19, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

  George Ho You're off to a good start, though the caption should be something like "Weekly chart performance for Blind Man's Zoo". --K. Peake 11:39, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

   Done per above suggestion. --George Ho (talk) 19:40, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• The charts should be alphabetically ordered

   Done. George Ho (talk) 11:19, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

Certifications

• See MOS:TABLECAPTION

  Unsure which part is necessary. If captions, then I've added them. George Ho (talk) 11:19, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

References

• I needn't check the copyvio score, as it was great for the previous review and you have not added more quotes since then!
• Make sure all of these that can be are archived by using the tool

  Already done by Chompy Ace. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Even though I mentioned accessdates in the previous review, I have since learned that they are not a necessity so you needn't give all refs them
• Target Elektra to Elektra Records on ref 2 and wikilink Asylum Records

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Target Spin to Spin (magazine) on ref 3

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Ref 4 should cite the middle name in the first name parameter instead

  As I'm pretty sure, "Van Meter" is the surname. Well, it's not "van Meter", but... it is what it is. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Target People to People (magazine) on ref 5, as I pointed out in the previous review

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Target Daily Press to Daily Press (Virginia) on ref 8

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Wikilink The New York Times on ref 9

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Wikilink Stephen Thomas Erlewine on ref 11

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Cite RIAA as publisher instead for ref 12 and target to Recording Industry Association of America

  Added publisher parameter. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Cite British Phonographic Industry as publisher instead for refs 13 and 27, only wikilinking for the former

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Target Thomas Gale to Gale (publisher) on ref 15

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Wikilink MTV Unplugged on ref 16

  Linked to MTV Unplugged (10,000 Maniacs album) instead. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Wikilink AllMusic on ref 17

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Authorlink Greg Kot on ref 18 and wikilink Chicago Tribune

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Wikilink The New Rolling Stone Album Guide on ref 19

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Ref 20 is missing Rolling Stone from work/website parameter; I did mention this issue as being prevalent throughout previously

  Added work parameter (probably I did). George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Ref 22 is a duplicate of ref 37; use a refname from the chart table to fix this

  Used "ref 38" (prev. ref 37 before change) to replace ref 22. George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Target Billboard to Billboard (magazine) on ref 23

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Remove work/website from ref 25 and change the publisher to Official Charts Company with the wikilink

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• Do the same for refs 26, 35 and 36, but with no wikilink

   Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

External links

• Mention the website the lyrics are at

   Done and reformatted. Also, I tagged the link as dead link; fortunately, the archive link has been already given. --George Ho (talk) 19:39, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

Final comments and verdict

•  On hold for a week until the issues are fixed, but the article is a lot better from when I reviewed it the first time; props for your progress, and hopefully you can get everything done in less than a week! --K. Peake 09:00, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• George Ho ✓ Pass for this article even though I did some brief copy editing where you missed only a few points, amazing improvement on the response from last time! --K. Peake 21:17, 12 January 2021 (UTC)