Talk:Blind Man's Zoo/GA2
Latest comment: 3 years ago by Kyle Peake in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 06:40, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
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I will take this on for review, as it would be appropriate for me to get the article into GA status potentially because I conducted the first review; I will use that one here to help me somewhat! --K. Peake 06:40, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
Infobox and lead edit
- Infobox looks good!
- "of the lead singer" → "of the band's lead singer" and this is a change you did not fully implement from the previous review
- ""Eat for Two" charted" → "The former of the two charted" to avoid starting two sentences in a row with the song's title
- Update the overview of the album's reviews to mixed like it is in the body; this is one of the parts of the lead that has changed since the previous review
- "number 13 in the" → "number 13 on the"
- "in the UK Albums Chart. It also was certified platinum in December 1997" → "on the UK Albums Chart, and was certified platinum in the US by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA)." and this should be the end of the sentence because otherwise it will be too long, plus you can't start two consecutive sentences with "it".
Background and development edit
- "lacked commercial success," → "had lacked commercial success," because this info is directly following info about the band at the time of the album's release
- "under the band's own record label" → "under their own record label" with the wikilink; another change I requested that was not done, it was suggested to avoid stating "the band" twice in the same sentence
- "second studio album," → "second studio album"
- "after they signed contract" → "after they signed a contract" you forgot to add the word "a", which is required for correct grammar
- "The album production occurred" → "The album's production occurred"
- Target mixing to Audio mixing (recorded music)
- Target Right Track Studios to MSR Studios
Themes and lyrics edit
- "Numerous songs on the album" → "Numerous songs on Blind Man's Zoo" and it looks like you forgot to add the title here from the previous review; that is needed because it's the start of a new section
- "The album's second track," → "Blind Man's Zoo's second track," even though the current wording was a change implemented, "the album" has since been added to prose more recently than its title hence this suggestion
- "concerns the US interventions in Central America," → "concerns the United States interventions in Central America," since that is the first time in the body that the country is mentioned
- "The third track "The Big Parade" references" → "The third track, "The Big Parade", references"
- "in Washington, D.C. and" → "in Washington, D.C., and"
- "was a ballad" → "is a ballad" with the target
- [5][8][1] should be put in numerical order
- Target music critic to Music journalism
- Target colonization of Africa to Colonisation of Africa
- "and about a racist who" → "and a racist who"
- "boy kissing shamelessly."" → "boy kissing shamelessly"."
Release and promotion edit
- "and May 15, 1989 in the UK." → "and May 15 in the United Kingdom."
- Remove wikilink on "Trouble Me"
- You have not sourced the release dates of the track and the other two singles; add that here
- You need to remove the commas from inside the speech marks of the song titles like I suggested
- "were released in a" → "were included on the" and this is another suggestion from the previous review you missed
- Target VHS album to video album per MOS:LINK2SECT, not the article and the section's hashtag
- "are included in its" → "were released on its"
Critical reception edit
- "was met with mixed reviews." → "was met with mixed reviews from music critics."
- Shouldn't the section be ordered in terms of going from most positive to most negative reviews since the reception is classified as mixed?
- I moved Anthony DeCurtis's review/statement into "Themes and lyrics" section; I haven't seen it as either positive, mixed, or negative. Nonetheless, I was able to restructure the sentences and to split paragraphs into one positive, one mixed possibly, and one negative. --George Ho (talk) 10:31, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- AllMusic should not be italicised, but at least you edited the prose for this part per my suggestion
- "Chicago Tribune reviewer Greg Kot" → "The Chicago Tribune reviewer Greg Kot" with the wikilink, props for finding the author by now however!
- "powerful lyricism [on] the" → "powerful lyricism" on "the" since there is a gap inbetween the parts before and after [on] that is not represented
- "theme of betrayal."" → "theme of betrayal"."
Commercial performance edit
- "on July 11, 1989 and then platinum for shipment of" → "on July 11, 1989, and later received a platinum certification for shipments of"
- "on December 12, 1997 by the Recording Industry Association of America," → "on December 12, 1997, both of which were awarded by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA)," since otherwise it does not sound clear that RIAA awarded the gold certification
- "achieve the certification." → "achieve the latter certification."
- "The album was certified" → "Blind Man's Zoo was certified"
- Add BPI in brackets for British Phonographic Industry
- "on the Hot 100" → "on the Billboard Hot 100" because that is the proper name of the chart
Track listing edit
- Source: CD album booklet → Credits are adapted from the album's booklet.
- The sentence on the line below this one should be a different sentence on the same line, with the ref coming after both of them
Personnel edit
- Add "Credits are adapted from the album's booklet." at the top of this section, making that the sole place where [2] is invoked
- ("Trouble Me") → (track 4)
Charts edit
- See MOS:TABLECAPTION
- The charts should be alphabetically ordered
Certifications edit
- See MOS:TABLECAPTION
References edit
- I needn't check the copyvio score, as it was great for the previous review and you have not added more quotes since then!
- Make sure all of these that can be are archived by using the tool
Already done by Chompy Ace. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Even though I mentioned accessdates in the previous review, I have since learned that they are not a necessity so you needn't give all refs them
- Target Elektra to Elektra Records on ref 2 and wikilink Asylum Records
- Target Spin to Spin (magazine) on ref 3
- Ref 4 should cite the middle name in the first name parameter instead
- Target People to People (magazine) on ref 5, as I pointed out in the previous review
- Target Daily Press to Daily Press (Virginia) on ref 8
- Wikilink The New York Times on ref 9
- Wikilink Stephen Thomas Erlewine on ref 11
- Cite RIAA as publisher instead for ref 12 and target to Recording Industry Association of America
- Cite British Phonographic Industry as publisher instead for refs 13 and 27, only wikilinking for the former
- Target Thomas Gale to Gale (publisher) on ref 15
- Wikilink MTV Unplugged on ref 16
- Linked to MTV Unplugged (10,000 Maniacs album) instead. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Wikilink AllMusic on ref 17
- Authorlink Greg Kot on ref 18 and wikilink Chicago Tribune
- Wikilink The New Rolling Stone Album Guide on ref 19
- Ref 20 is missing Rolling Stone from work/website parameter; I did mention this issue as being prevalent throughout previously
- Ref 22 is a duplicate of ref 37; use a refname from the chart table to fix this
- Target Billboard to Billboard (magazine) on ref 23
- Remove work/website from ref 25 and change the publisher to Official Charts Company with the wikilink
- Do the same for refs 26, 35 and 36, but with no wikilink
External links edit
- Mention the website the lyrics are at
Final comments and verdict edit
On hold for a week until the issues are fixed, but the article is a lot better from when I reviewed it the first time; props for your progress, and hopefully you can get everything done in less than a week! --K. Peake 09:00, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
