Talk:Alan Shepard/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 09:18, 5 April 2016 (UTC)

I'll take a look; Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 09:18, 5 April 2016 (UTC)

Thanks for that. Much appreciated. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:21, 5 April 2016 (UTC)

He was one of many famous descendants of Mayflower passenger Richard Warren - I'd put this after his parents' names. It reads oddly where it is.

Confession. The problem here is that while I have stack of sources attesting the descent, they don't say whether it was through his mother or father. So I put it here where it merely says what the sources do. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:21, 5 April 2016 (UTC)

Yeah but if you pop the sentence after the parentage, you're not saying which line the descent is from. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:38, 6 April 2016 (UTC)

Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:11, 6 April 2016 (UTC)

''After a month of aviation indoctrination - given negative connotations of final word...maybe needs rephrasing...

Y Military term. Changed. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:21, 5 April 2016 (UTC)

decided that they wanted to get married - why not simply, "decided to get married"

Y Done Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:21, 5 April 2016 (UTC)

"bilged" - umm link or explain?`

Y The bilge is the lowest part of a ship. Water accumulates there, so it has to be pumped out. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:21, 5 April 2016 (UTC)

court martialed - hyphen?

Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:21, 5 April 2016 (UTC)

although he did not go so far as to give up the cocktails or the philandering - this just sorta comes out of nowhere...some explanation needed beforehand

Any idea where it should be mentioned? Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:21, 5 April 2016 (UTC)

Well, is there any more info? It just seems a really odd bomb to drop in without some explanation of him cheating on his wife or drinking a lot (if there is info, then it could go immediately beforehand.) Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:38, 6 April 2016 (UTC)

Plenty. Added a sentence, which is supported by footnote 29. If you want names and dates, though, it will have to wake until next week, because I am away at the moment. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:18, 6 April 2016 (UTC)

Actually I don't think we need specifics, what has been added is fine. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 01:35, 6 April 2016 (UTC)

Shepard died of leukemia in Pebble Beach, California, on July 21, 1998,[95] two years after being diagnosed with that disease - I'd switch these, so that diagnosis comes first then death.

Y Very well. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:21, 5 April 2016 (UTC)

Also, given his wife doesn't have an article, how did she die?

Y Heart attack. Added. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:22, 5 April 2016 (UTC)

There are some segments of prose that should be reworded to distance themselves from this page

Originally the article was just a copy of his JSC bio. Much of that was lost as the article was improved, but what remains is referenced, and the article includes the disclaimer:

 This article incorporates public domain material from websites or documents of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:55, 7 April 2016 (UTC)

Aaah ok, my bad. Alrighty then.....

1. Well written?:

Prose quality:

Manual of Style compliance:

2. Factually accurate and verifiable?:

References to sources:

Citations to reliable sources, where required:

No original research:

3. Broad in coverage?:

Major aspects:

Focused:

4. Reflects a neutral point of view?:

Fair representation without bias:

5. Reasonably stable?

No edit wars, etc. (Vandalism does not count against GA):

6. Illustrated by images, when possible and appropriate?:

Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:

Overall:

Pass or Fail: - a nice read. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:49, 8 April 2016 (UTC)