Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/The Colossus of Rhodes (Dalí)/archive1

TFA blurb review

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The Colossus of Rhodes is a 1954 oil painting by the Spanish artist Salvador Dalí. One of a series of seven paintings created for the 1956 film Seven Wonders of the World, it shows the Colossus of Rhodes, the ancient statue of the Greek titan-god of the sun, Helios. Painted two decades after Dalí's heyday with the surrealist movement, The Colossus of Rhodes is emblematic of his transition from the avant-garde to the mainstream. After financial pressures imposed by his move to the United States in 1940, and influenced by his fascination with Hollywood, he shifted focus away from his earlier exploration of the subconscious and perception, and towards historical and scientific themes. His rendering of the Colossus is heavily influenced by a 1953 paper by Herbert Maryon, a sculptor and conservator at the British Museum. None of the commissioned paintings were ultimately used for the film, and The Colossus of Rhodes was donated in 1981 to the Kunstmuseum Bern. (Full article...)

Any thoughts or edits? You might want to reword to avoid "shift ... shifted". - Dank (push to talk) 19:11, 11 April 2019 (UTC)Reply

Wow, are you fast! I had plans to comment in the FAC, so am interested. I wonder if we have to say "surrealist" twice, and would drop the one at the beginning. Perhaps first speak about his history first, then the painting, influenced how, and then - finally - that it wasn't used for the film? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 20:02, 11 April 2019 (UTC)Reply
Thanks Gerda. I've dropped the first "surrealist". No opinion on the rest. - Dank (push to talk) 20:15, 11 April 2019 (UTC)Reply
Gerda Arendt, I'm not sure what to change. I moved the "not used for the film" sentence to the end, and tweaked it. I don't like to change the order of sentences if the order basically works as is ... and except for that one sentence, I think we can make a case that the current order (which is chronological) is a reasonable choice ... does it work for you now? - Dank (push to talk) 18:28, 23 April 2019 (UTC)Reply
Yes, great, thank you! (Tough day, see my talk, returning from the funeral of a friend, there are two great women who died. Am I happy that I wrote the friend's articles while he was still alive. He was surprised and said that some day we would have to talk about it. Well ...) --Gerda Arendt (talk) 18:39, 23 April 2019 (UTC)Reply
I'm sorry for your loss. - Dank (push to talk) 18:41, 23 April 2019 (UTC)Reply