Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Operation Winter '94/archive1
Latest comment: 11 years ago by Tomobe03
Addressed comments from Crisco 1492
edit- Comments from Crisco 1492
- I feel really sorry for this nom, over a month and only one review. I'll try and give you something, at least.
- Link for Bono 2003 is broken (probably missing a "ref=harv" in the cite book template).
- There was a mismatch in the year parameter (probably a typo). Fixed now.
- Images all look fine.
- The operation formed part of the Croatian War of Independence and the Bosnian War, which were wars -> you've got "war" three times in like 15 words. Try rephrasing.
- was actually commanded by HV Major General Ante Gotovina. - sounds somewhat... underwhelming. Nominal is a good word, but would "actually" be its opposite? "In practice", perhaps?
- was followed up by - Do you need "by" here?
- Dinara Mountain --> Mount Dinara would probably be more standard English. Sator -> Mount Sator too
- on the left flank of the salient: dominating the area around the RSK capital. --> Colon or comma?
- Knin - Link?
- Yugoslav Presidency's approval of a JNA operation to disarm Croatian security forces in January 1991. - Wouldn't this be the Yugoslav president's approval? Or "the Yugoslave Presidency's"?
- There was 8-member collective presidency, president of the presidency was not authorised to act without a majority vote - therefore adding "the".
- Alright, makes sense. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 16:39, 19 June 2013 (UTC)
- There was 8-member collective presidency, president of the presidency was not authorised to act without a majority vote - therefore adding "the".
- wartime authorities - How can "wartime authorities" be given? Maybe "instigate wartime measures"?
- I meant to say the army asked the presidency to authorise it to act as if it there was a state of war declared - in effect unlimited power to deploy and act militarily without further authorisation, disarm civilian authorities (police), enforce conscription, seize assets etc. I changed this bit of prose slightly, but I'm not quite sure I got the expression correctly. Could you recheck this please?
- Looking at Google really quickly, "wartime authorities" or "wartime powers" (in other words, your original was probably fine) — Crisco 1492 (talk) 16:50, 19 June 2013 (UTC)
- Since "wartime powers" is the solution offered right now, I assume that is fine to keep?
- It's fine, or you can go back to "authorities". Strange how we don't have an article on the term. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 16:58, 19 June 2013 (UTC)
- Maybe current formulation is clearer, having "state of emergency" first to lead readers in the right direction. I was equally surprised there's no such article. Should I redlink "wartime powers"?
- Current phrasing looks quite good. I have posted at Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Military history to ask about wartime powers/wartime authorities — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:02, 19 June 2013 (UTC)
- I meant to say the army asked the presidency to authorise it to act as if it there was a state of war declared - in effect unlimited power to deploy and act militarily without further authorisation, disarm civilian authorities (police), enforce conscription, seize assets etc. I changed this bit of prose slightly, but I'm not quite sure I got the expression correctly. Could you recheck this please?
- Army of Republika Srpska (VRS) and Army of the Republic of Bosnia and Herzegovina (ARBiH) - Not including the original name?
- Standardise: % or per cent?
- Linking countries may be overlinking, especially ones which are still extant (i.e. United States, France, and United Kingdom)
- endorsed by Bill Clinton - You've been giving titles for everyone so far, so you should have "President Bill Clinton"
- The body of text, overall, looks quite respectable. Will continue tomorrow or the next day. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 16:12, 19 June 2013 (UTC)
- Thank you for taking up this review. I hope I have successfully addressed the issues above, and I'm looking forward to further comments.--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:56, 19 June 2013 (UTC)
- to a line Zeleno Hill–Šaškin Peak–Veliki Bat Peak–Točila–Grkovci–Mali Orlovac Hill–Orlovac Hill–Nuglašica–Talijanov Peak–Pitoma Kosa–Tavanak. - Not sure this is grammatical
- I replaced the entire string of these obscure toponyms by a more general geographic reference.
- captured the strategic 1,831-metre (6,007 ft) Presedla and 1,777-metre (5,830 ft) Jankovo Brdo peaks on 14–18 March - Should "high" be put after the heights?
- I don't think so. These "x-metre" expressions are used as adjectives here. I could change the expressions to nouns and add "high" if you prefer as in "x metres high". Would that be better?
- Crni Lug - Worth a redlink?
- Not sure. There is Crni Lug redlink in the Bosansko Grahovo article so I added it anyway.
- Otherwise quite good. I strongly suggest that you
try reviewing other nominations if you want to drum up interest in this one; I usually review 3 to 5 articles for every one I nominate. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 14:04, 20 June 2013 (UTC)
- Thank you for the suggestion, I trust that might help.--Tomobe03 (talk) 08:31, 21 June 2013 (UTC)