Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Jo Stafford/archive1

Images:

• File:Jo Stafford, ca. July 1946 (William P. Gottlieb 08111).jpg - Fine
• File:Stafford sisters 1941.JPG - Looks okay, but would it be worth trimming out the whitespace (i.e. the border)?
• File:Pied pipers stafford.JPG - Source is dead, and I'm not seeing the reverse of this image (needed to check for copyright issues). We hope is quite competent, so I'm somewhat willing to AGF, but a fix would certainly be appreciated.
• File:Perry Como Jo Stafford Chesterfield Supper Club 1947.jpg - This does have a copyright notice (bottom left corner, page 78), so that note should be removed. This doesn't look to be a copyvio because there was no renewal.
• File:Stafford 1954 tv show photo.JPG - Is fine
• File:Tim tay shun 1960.JPG - Fine
• File:Jo Stafford 25 million records sold diamond award 1954.jpg - Looks fine
• File:Shower of stars 1958 Benny Stafford Sands.JPG - Fine
• File:Paul Weston Tim Weston Jo Stafford 1954.JPG - Fine

Prose:

• That's a lot of short sections. Mind combining some?

• Done

• No need to ref her date of death in the lede

• Done

• first in around 1941 - in or around?

• Done

• Grover Cleveland and Anna (née York) Stafford - Did they have the same family names, or not? If not, why?

• Done. Hopefully makes better sense now.

• Per WP:ISBN, we should try to use ISBN-13 (you're using ISBN-10)

• Done all apart from Warner, which appears only to have an isbn 10 listing

• I don't know if it's accessible, but this can help convert ISBNs — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:24, 25 July 2013 (UTC)

• Check your linking. Some terms or names you link in the lede but not afterwards, others you link in the lede then afterwards.

• Think I've got them all, but let me know if any are left.

• "Spoken Word Comedy" - Song, single, or album?

• Done. Album. Also slightly altered this as sources said nothing about a rare move by Grammys.

• That's it for today, finish the rest tomorrow. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 10:00, 25 July 2013 (UTC)

• Thanks for the review. I wonder if you could help with the images as I won't be able to edit them myself. Also, I'm not sure what you mean by "the reverse of the image". Paul MacDermott (talk) 13:28, 25 July 2013 (UTC)

• Sure, I'll take care of the stuff I can fix. "The reverse of the image" is the back of a printed publicity photograph, which is where studios generally put their copyright notices through the 1960s. Per the precautionary principle, File:Pied pipers stafford.JPG may have to be removed from the article. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:24, 25 July 2013 (UTC)

• Thanks for helping. I think I'll take it out just to be safe. Paul MacDermott (talk) 10:32, 26 July 2013 (UTC)

• the Communist newspaper the Daily Worker, - Any way to avoid having "the" in such close succession?

• Done

• she made history by simultaneously working for two competing record companies. - Perhaps a note on how rare that was?

• Done

• Their duet of Hank Williams' "Hey Good Lookin'" - Sounds awkward to me

• Hopefully works now as "the Hank Williams song Hey Good Lookin'"

• You Belong to Me - Why isn't it linked here??

• It's linked in the lede, but can be linked here I guess.

• In 1960, Stafford said there were good and bad points to working closely with her husband. She said that Weston's knowledge of her made it easy for him to arrange her music, but that sometimes it caused difficulties. Weston knew Stafford's abilities and would write or arrange elaborate music because he knew she was capable of performing it. She also said she did not believe she could perform in Broadway musicals because she thought her voice was not powerful enough for stage work. - not sure of this paragraph's historical significance. It's more of a style thing than a biographical thing

• Moved to later section

• Because she disliked continuously traveling for television appearances that took her away from her children, and because she no longer found it fun, Stafford went into semi-retirement in the mid-1960s, and retired completely from the music business in 1975. - That's... a very confusing sentence. Any way to cut back on the clauses?

• Done

• Song of the Open Road: An Autobiography and Other Writings - Does this book offer anything useful for the article?

• As a source yes since it is the only biography of her, but no need to include its mention in the article itself.

• Yes, I meant as a source. I note it's only cited it 3 times, which makes me question what other information is in there which may help with the flow. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 13:12, 26 July 2013 (UTC)

• Got some stuff from here that hopefully helps. Mostly it concerns their earlier career, but there is some useful stuff on the Pied Pipers and the Jonathan and Darlene project. Also found more, from another source, on her participation in the anti-Communist broadcasts of VOA.

• all of the recordings she made with the company, including those made as Jonathan and Darlene Edwards. - This appears to read as if she was both Jonathan and Darlene

• Done

• had started as a label for religious music, - When?

• Done

• I think that's it from me. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 11:06, 26 July 2013 (UTC)
• Any biographies of Stafford to consult? There are points which seem to lack flow, seemingly because this is based essentially all on contemporary newspaper articles and obituaries. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 11:06, 26 July 2013 (UTC)

• Sadly the only biography is her own. She is mentioned in passing in other works, but not to the extent that it would be useful here. She is, as I mentioned above, much overlooked. Paul MacDermott (talk) 13:03, 26 July 2013 (UTC)