Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Elasmosaurus/archive1

TFA blurb review

edit

Elasmosaurus was a large marine reptile in the order Plesiosauria. The genus lived about 80.5 million years ago, during the Late Cretaceous. The first specimen was sent to the American paleontologist Edward Drinker Cope after its discovery in 1867 near Fort Wallace, Kansas. Only one incomplete skeleton is definitely known, consisting of a fragmentary skull, the spine, and the pectoral and pelvic girdles, and a single species is recognized today. Measuring 10.3 meters (34 ft) long, the genus had a streamlined body with paddle-like limbs or flippers, a short tail, and a small, slender, triangular head. With a neck around 7.1 meters (23 ft) long, Elasmosaurus was one of the longest-necked animals to have lived, with the largest number of neck vertebrae known, 72. It probably ate small fish and marine invertebrates, seizing them with long teeth. Elasmosaurus is known from the Pierre Shale formation, which represents marine deposits from the Western Interior Seaway. (Full article...)

FunkMonk, LittleJerry and Lythronaxargestes, we're almost done with the blurbs for articles promoted at FAC in 2018. Thoughts and edits are welcome. - Dank (push to talk) 05:22, 16 December 2019 (UTC)Reply

Looks good, I wonder if the aquatic bit is needed at the beginning, since all plesiosaurs were aquatic. Now it reads as if some plesiosaurs weren't. FunkMonk (talk) 09:57, 16 December 2019 (UTC)Reply
Of the millions of daily Main Page readers, how many are going to know that something that ends in "saur" isn't a dinosaur but is something big that paddles around in the water? I think it's best to give them some kind of clue before they get halfway through the blurb. Other wording would be fine. - Dank (push to talk) 13:28, 16 December 2019 (UTC)Reply
I'm thinking more along the lines of for example Jaekelopterus, which had "Jaekelopterus is a genus of predatory eurypterid, a group of extinct aquatic arthropods" and "Jaekelopterus was a predatory aquatic arthropod of the order of eurypterids". In this way, we make it clear the entire group is aquatic, but it is also more wordy... FunkMonk (talk) 14:08, 16 December 2019 (UTC)Reply
How about "is a genus of plesiosaurs, marine reptiles that lived about 80.5 million years ago"? - Dank (push to talk) 14:15, 16 December 2019 (UTC)Reply
I don't quite like this as it implies all plesiosaurs lived 80.5 mya. Maybe drop the age thing or move it elsewhere? Lythronaxargestes (talk | contribs) 04:59, 17 December 2019 (UTC)Reply
Good point. How about now? - Dank (push to talk) 05:14, 17 December 2019 (UTC)Reply
I personally would would rephrase "in the order of plesiosaurs" to "in the order Plesiosauria". Fanboyphilosopher (talk) 20:55, 17 December 2019 (UTC)Reply
No objection. - Dank (push to talk) 20:59, 17 December 2019 (UTC)Reply
Agreed, this is better. Lythronaxargestes (talk | contribs) 22:01, 17 December 2019 (UTC)Reply
Done. - Dank (push to talk) 01:33, 18 December 2019 (UTC)Reply