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Wikipedia:WikiProject Rugby union/Peer review/All Blacks versus France at rugby union

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All Blacks versus France at rugby union edit

This has recently been promoted to Good Article status and I would like to get it to Featured Article status now. Would like any feedback on how to achieve this. Thanks. - Shudde talk 01:23, 25 September 2007 (UTC)[reply]

  • Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, APR t 00:42, 26 September 2007 (UTC)matt whitton is the best player in the world (just legendary)[reply]
    • The content is already quite good, you should add an image or two to illustrate the article, for example one of All Blacks who toured in Europe at the begining of the 1900's. For L'essai du bout du monde/The try of the century , see here. The largest victory for the All Blacks is indeed in 2007, but somewhere you could explain that a B team played for France as the tour happened as the best teams in France played the finals of the Top 14. Next Saturday there will be something more to say... repetition of the World cup 1999 ? Dingy 15:36, 1 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]
      • Thanks for the comments Dingy. I do hope next weekend is not a repeat of 1999! - Shudde talk 22:31, 1 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)

Well here we go...

  • Hate the title of the article. Hate it. But, as is usual for me, I can't suggest a better one. Maybe this is how Wikiproject Rugby Union say it should be? "...at rugby union" really grates... This is more likely to be a featured list... I need to think about this.
  • Not sure the lead needs to include all the records, you're kind of giving it all away early. It's not a huge article so perhaps just limit to two paragraphs and highlight, well, the highlights...
  • "The 1954 match was won 3–0..." - was that when scoring rules were different or is that an example of the rare result settled by either just a pen or a drop kick? Or 3 points for a try?
  • What's the difference between a "tour" and a "full tour" in the lead?
  • "A first series win in New Zealand was achieved by France in 1994 when they won two Tests, and in 1999 the teams again met in the World Cup." - surely the win in the WC wasn't a "series win"? Slightly confused flow.
  • "1905/1906" - prefer "1905–06", same with others.
  • "northern hemisphere" - ought to be capitalised I reckon.
  • Again, the early scoring system may need to be explained - 10 tries and winning 38-8, how?
  • My usual bugbear - "World War Two" - Commonwealth/European article so let's use Second World War?
  • "France next faced the All Blacks when they toured New Zealand in 1961. They toured before any of the home nations did.[7] " - flow these short sentences together.
  • Check placement of citations, per WP:CITE, immediately to right of punctuation.
  • "(where France finished last)" - remove parentheses.
  • "Frances'"? Surely, "France's"?
  • "All blacks" - copyedit for consistency.
  • "bombing" of Rainbow Warrior? It was blown up but I'm not sure bombed is the best description.
  • "In 2003 the try was voted the fourth best rugby try (of either code) ever by The Daily Telegraph readers[27]"
    • Missing full stop.
    • "(of either code)" will need explaining for FAC.
  • "November 11 1995" - correctly wikilink per WP:DATE, so November 11, 1995.
  • "(both to Jonah Lomu)" - remove parentheses.
  • Consider colour coding the table so it's clear whether NZ or France won each encounter.
  • Also, consider an overall tally of matches won, drawn, lost, for, against etc. at the end.

Those are my starting comments, hopefully they're of use. All the best. The Rambling Man 16:41, 1 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Fact-wise, it looks pretty comprehensive, but a punctuational copyedit is in order. There are quite a number of tiny punctuational things that need a fix (there are too many semi-colons and not enough commas, to start with!) I've gone through the first couple of sections (up to the start of "full tours") working on the punctuation, and also fixed a strange detail where the article said the Fred Allen coached a match. Oh, and to Rambing Man, yes, a try used to be worth three points. Grutness...wha? 23:08, 1 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]

PS - I'm pretty sure the author's name is Ron Palenski, not Polenski - better double-check. Grutness...wha? 23:15, 1 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from GordyB 16:00, 26 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]

I don't like this opening line:-

In rugby union, France's national team and New Zealand's national team (known as the All Blacks) have played each other in Test rugby since 1906.

I would suggest

France and New Zealand's national teams have been playing each other in Test rugby since 1906.

I would remove the entire second paragraph which just states the results of each match. THe summary of the results in the third paragraph is sufficient.

Early meetings edit

British Isles - this phrase is somewhat controversial as a lot of Irish people object to it as implying that they are British. Home nations is less controversial and Britain & Ireland is neutral.

threequarters - feel that this should be hyphenated

Post war edit

hope that the wind taking it over the posts - grammar "hope that the wind would take it..."

France first toured New Zealand in 1961 — before any of the Home Nations — and the All Blacks won all three Tests. - I think the reference to the Home nations is unnecessary

Full tours edit

In 2003 the try was voted the fourth best rugby try (of either rugby union or rugby league) ever by The Daily Telegraph readers.

Awkward wording and IMO unnecessarily so. Is there such thing as a non-rugby try?

In 2003 the try was voted the fourth best ever scored in either rugby union or league by The Daily Telegraph readers.

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