Wikipedia:WikiProject Olympics/Peer review/The Whistler Sliding Centre
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- The Whistler Sliding Centre (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)
I am submitting this for peer review because this has undergone a general peer review back in April 2010, then underwent a Good Article nomination process before being accepted on 22 June 2010. Am pushing this toward WP:FAC on this is done. Please do so ASAP. Chris (talk) 19:33, 26 June 2010 (UTC)
Parutakupiu — I'm going to do this gradually, as I go along the article, if you don't mind. Parutakupiu (talk) 23:37, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
- Lead
- According to WP:LEAD, you should not boldface the French version of the name, but italicize it. Also, use {{lang-fr}} for laying out the translation;
- Comma after "Canada" in "...Whistler, British Columbia, Canada...";
- "...located in the... located 125 km..." — repetition;
- "Design work started on the track..." — Is "on the track" necessary?
- Unlink "Bobsledders" (bobsleigh is already linked above), "Homologation" (not necessary and appears dictionary-ish), and "luger" (same as with "Bobsledders"...);
- Why isn't the women's singles event linked like the other two luge events?
- "Skeleton competitions
at the 2010 Winter Olympics..."; - "A 20 page report..." — 20-page;
- "...
with the report being releasedand to the public..." - "... construction award..." — Pluralize "award";
- Infobox
- Where in the source says that the track's nickname is À"The Beast" (proper noun)?
- On the fullname parameter apply the same as above;
- "...ammonia refrigeration piped..." — Piped? Is this correct?
- In the field dimensions parameter, move the "(All from [2])" to the end;
- Awarding and construction (2004–07)
- "At the 115th IOC meeting..." — Replace meeting with "Session" and mention the year (2003);
- "... was chosen
forto host the 2010 Winter Olympics..."; - Comma after "South Korea";
- "...
whowhich designed..."
- First testing and homologation (2007–08)
- Unlink "Canadian" and link instead the runners names (you only linked them in the lede text);
- "Luge tests occured in late February 2008 and among the
lugeparticipants..."; - Unlink "Germany" and "homologation", but link "Austria" which hasn't been linked before;
- "Lueders
of Canada..." - Add a period before ref #17;
- "A total of 2155 runs (...) took place at the track with a total of 15 crashes
occurring at the track"; - "... took place on 25–27 September 2008,
prior tobefore the International Training Week...";
- 2008–09 Luge World Cup, including training
- "... took place at the track on 7–15 November 2008
at the trackto get sliders familiarized with itthe track.". Also, invert the refs following this sentence; - "...
thoughwith several injuriesoccurredoccurring..." and "...injuringwho injured his shoulder."; - No relevance in stating FIL's president nationality;
- "... track's speed was too
fasthigh..." or just"... track was too fast..."; - "The ITW was for luge... but the 73 crashes were in all 3 sports?
- "
OfFrom the 2482 runs executed during the International Training Week..."; - According to source's quotes, it should be: "Italy's Zöggeler stated that "The track can be tackled." and that he does not "... see big problems for the athletes.";
- Done - adjusted. Chris (talk) 21:11, 24 July 2010 (UTC)
- "...
slowedlowered to 135 or 136 km/h..." - "... 2008-09 World Cup season..." — En-dash (–);
- "Germany's Loch..." — We know by now that Loch is German;
- "...the men's singles luge speeds reached 100 km/h (62 mph)
by the time you reachat the women's singles and men's doubles start house..."; - "four week" → four-week;
- According to source's quotes, it should be: "FIL President Fendt stated that "... [my] technical delegate told me this week that the
... [2010 Winter Olympics] ...Games could start tomorrow and the track would be ready." and he appreciatedI appreciate"... the whole Whistler Sliding Centre."; - "135 athletes..." — Don't start sentences with numbers. Spell out (quirky) or find a way to start with words other than "A total of...";
- "... took place at the track on 7–15 November 2008
- 2008–09 Bobsleigh and Skeleton World Cup and training
- "... took place on 25–31 January 2009...";
- It looks weird linking "World" to the bosbsleigh World Cup event and "Cup" to the skeleton event... Find another way or don't link at all;
- "250 competitors from 24 countries took part in the World Cup event." — Don't start sentences with numbers... and which event?
- "two week" → two-week;
- Link "2002 Winter Olympics" and "1988 Winter Olympics";
- "3000 spectators...", "235 athletes..." — Same as above;
- "... tested itself..." — themselves (refers to "medical services");
- "... is fast, technical, demanding, and interesting." — Add a period after this and before ref #25;
- 2009–10 World Cups, including training
- "A second International Training Week for luge took place
at the Centreon 9–15 November 2009 in preparation for the 2010 Games, with the participation of 156 athletes from 27 nationstaking place." - "Venzeula's" — Typo;
- "... not providing a safe sliding environment
. This was, especially after speeds were 10 mph (16 km/h)fasterhigher than expected."; - "...
prior tobefore the 2010 Games"; - "For the 2009-10 season..." — replace hyphen with en-dash;
- "A second International Training Week for luge took place
- Public opening and post-Olympic usage
- "The Centre's official website
openedwas launched..."; - "... ran from 3 July...";
- According to WP:$, "C$ 5" should be "5 Canadian dollars" (note linking the value and unit) for the first time. In further instances, you can just use "C$" but without space between it and the value;
- "... being admitted free." — having free entry/admission?
- "World cup competition..." — Capitalize "cup";
- "... took place on [dates]...";
- "... along with Altenberg, Germany at the..." — Comma after Germany;
- "... withdrew
theirits bid..."; - "
At anDuring a meeting of the FIL Commissionmeeting..." — Also remove "(near Salzburg)" as it's not essential; - "Post-Olympic usage will be part responsibility of the Whistler 2010 Sports Legacies..." — Sounds better this way;
- "... promote healthy lifestyles
, promoteand tourism..."; - "... offer revenue for the maintenance of the three facilities
to maintain them.";
- "The Centre's official website
- Nodar Kumaritashvili
- First thing: typo in section title;
- Lowercase "Opening Ceremonies" and make it singular, it's one ceremony;
- Unlink "luger" in "Georgian luger...", there are enough links to Luge;
- "... suffered a crash coming out of turn 16, during a training run
coming out of Turn 16."; - "Kumaritashvili died later that day from the injuries sustained in that crash
later that day."; - "... Kumaritashvili's death
withsuspending trainingsuspendedfor the rest of that day."; - Two refs #49 at the end of the same sentence;
- "... Turn 16..." — lowercase;
- ""..does not help good starters like myself"." — Missed a period to complete the ellipsis (...);
- "... and that
you wereone was still hitting 80 mph..."; - "... on the crash,
but also stated thathowever "...any fatality is unnacceptable""; - "Canada's Alex Gough commented on the 14th
in the wake of Kumaritashvili's death two days earlier(two days after Kumaritashvili's death...";
- Luge
- "... to see if she was okay..." — Not the best encyclopedic language... How about "... to know about her condition..."?
- "prior to" → before. Please check all further instances like this;
- ... Turn 16..." — Again, lowercase. Be consistent and check further instances like this;
- "... causing both
of themto go airborne momentarily. Neitherlugersuffered any injury."; - "12,000 spectators attended each of the five days of luge competition." → Each of the five days of luge competition was attended by a sold-out crowd of 12,000 spectators;
- On the last sentence, you can give the full name of the winners and link them to their articles;
- Skeleton
- It's been quite a while, since you last read about Jon Montgomery, so I suppose you can give his full name and link to his article;
- Remove "on the 15th", as it is stated at the beginning when practice runs started;
- "Montgomery and Hollingsworth had the fastest times on the 16th with the last training runs taking place on 17th at 09:00 PST. On the 17th, both Hollingsworth and Montgomery had the fastest runs again." — All this can be reduced to: "Montgomery and Hollingsworth had the fastest times on the 16th and on the 17th, the last day of training runs.";
- "... before the start of the second run.";
- In the last sentence, place the refs after the period;
- Bobsleigh
- "Three crashes occurred during the
18 February 2010two-man training session on 18 February." - "... who both withdrew from the two man event" → "with both withdrawing". Remove the parentheses that follow and adjust refs accordingly;
- There's an article on Shauna Rohbock you can link "Rohbock" to...
- You need to find a replacing source for ref #72 which has gone dead;
- "... were rescheduled to 16:00 PST for run three and 17:35 PST for run four due to unseasonable warm weather." — Also, give the equivalent time in UTC;
- "... a sled from Australia crashed out and did not finish, while a sled from Great Britain...";
- Done
- "Germany's Lange..." — Who is he? Was he mentioned before? Can't recall... Link him, anyway;
- "Reactions from bobsledders about the track during the two-man event
about the track..."; - "... to have all drivers
to haveperforming a minimum of 40 runs..."; - Ref #76 is also dead, so I won't comment on quotes supported by this source;
- Periods are missing after some quotes, please check;
- "... the Germany-2 sled of Cathleen Martini and Romy Logsch
werewas in fourth place..."; - "... under their own power." → by themselves;
- "
Prior toBefore this incident, Martini had never crashedbeforein her career."; - "... during the event
.[89] This was also, despite no crashesduring four-man traininghad taken placeprior to the 24thbefore that day.[89] The Dutch team supported van Calker's decisionon this."; - "... defending world champion Holcomb posted the fastest track times in
theboth runs, while defending Olympic champion Lange had the fastest start timesin both runs."; - "... at these games..." — Capitalize "games" (it's the Olympics);
- "... crashed out
on the track...", "... crashed out in the first runon the track..." and "Second runtrackcrashes...";
- "Three crashes occurred during the
- Construction
- Don't transcribe content word by word from their sources. The first sentence is verbatim, re-write it with your own words;
- "... or Kwekwayex Kwelh7aynexw
.[96]while the Lil'oet call the area..." — Less short sentences; - "C$ 55 million" and "C$ 105 million (€ 68 million)" — No space between value and unit. By the way, why conversion to Euros?
- "The track is made of 350 t (340 LT; 390 ST)..." — What units are all these? Spell them out, and if they're unusual, link them;
- "... thickness of 6 in (15 cm).[7][17][9]" — Order refs;
- "350 track footings were used ..." — Number starting a sentence... Also "40% of those footings..." → Forty percent;
- "... refrigeration piping
wereused to..."; - "... between turns one and two, and turns six and seven) and three spectator underpasses (between turns eight and nine, turns 11 and 12, and turns 15 and 16)" — Consistency overrules the spelling out numbers lower than 10, so you can write "turns 1 and 2, and turns 6 and 7...", etc.;
- "It seated 11,650 spectators during the 2010 Games";
- Sustainability
- Overlinking here! No need to link "sustainability", "site", "ski", "vegetation", "energy", "weather", "refrigeration" and "heat". They're all very common words with no special importance to the article so that they're linked;
- "... to cover parts of the track.
and theThe track itself is painted white to maintaintrack ice tempeartureslow temperatures..."; - "...
werewas composted..." — refers to "wood waste";
- Awards
- Unlink "Concrete";
- I suppose "Public Works" is an organization/enterprise? It links to the common expression "public works" though...
- "Less than two years earlier..." — Earlier or before?
- Don't make "LEED (Canada)" an external link within the body text;
- Statistics
- I'd probably move the first two tables to the previous section, because in my opinion they also characterize technical data about the track (physical data and turn names). If you were to do this, then I'd rename this section to "Track records" since it would only include the remaining text and the records table.
- On the "Physical statistics" table, instead of placing ref #2 repeatedly after each discipline, why not only once and after the table's header?
- On the "Turns" table:
- "Turn
Number" and remove the dots after each turn number; - I'd place all refs in a specific column at the rightmost end, so that they don't bulk up the "Name" column cells;
- Unlink "bobsledder" and "Labyrinth";
- "Turn
- On the "Track records" table:
- "Event" is more precise as the first column's header, while on the third column "Athlete(s)" is enough;
- I'd proceed in the same way as above, regarding the refs;
- Why "Bobsleigh two-man" and not "Bobsleigh – two-man" as you did with the luge events? Or the opposite... Be as consistent as possible;
- Place the flag templates before the name of individual competitors as well;
- You could make a table for "speed records" instead of just writing it down in a bulk of text. It becomes more appealing and visible to the reader. If this was to be called "Track speed records", then the table above should be "Track time records";
- Finally, that last part about the hosted championships looks a bit lost... Scrap it.
- Images
- The image in the infobox can be resized to 300px (maximum recommended by MoS); this way you even reduce the infobox's height;
- The image layout in the History section (and others) is very unbalanced, with two images cluttering the top and none along the last four sub-sections. I understand you added each image besides its corresponding text section, but you don't need to do that. Spread them evenly through the whole section.
- Done - Moved and adjusted accordingly.
- I made an attempt to distribute the images more evenly and alternated their position (right-left-right) within the same sub-section, to take the most of the available space. Tell me what do you think? Parutakupiu (talk)
- Done - Moved and adjusted accordingly.
- If you can, avoid placing images in positions that might make them cross into other (sub-)sections. If not possible, right-align those images so that the following section's title is not pushed to the right.
- Montgomery's image caption could be more related to the section where it's placed... Perhaps say that (don't quote me) the 2010 Olympic men's skeleton champion was among the first track testing participants... Something like this, because the current caption makes the image belong more in the Olympic results section...
- Done - Moved to the Skeleton subsection of the 2010 Winter Olympics section. Chris (talk) 12:49, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
- Actually, I changed it back, because it was cluttering an already image-rich 2010 Winter Olympics section, while the History section was nearly empty. Adjusted its caption as suggested. Parutakupiu (talk)
- Done - Moved to the Skeleton subsection of the 2010 Winter Olympics section. Chris (talk) 12:49, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
- Nodar's image is not free. Unless you can find a freely-licensed version, I'd say: remove it.
- As per WP:CAPTION, you can't add period to the end of image captions which are sentence fragments... These include captions from every image bar the Hufner one.
- Final comment: this article is quite heavy (>80 Kb) due to the massive amount of textual info. FAC reviewers are likely to point it out and ask you "trim" some of the content, so be prepared. Good luck on your nomination and I hope you are successful because this article deserves to be recognized. Parutakupiu (talk)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.