Wikipedia:WikiProject Novels/Peer review/The Emberverse series

The Emberverse series

This article is one of the first major articles I have ever created and would like some help and suggestions in improving it. Any comments or criticisms you have would be greatly appreciated. Zombie Hunter Smurf (talk) 15:14, 7 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Review from the_ed17

A quick run-through, as this needs a lot.

As with many article pertaining to fictional novels, watch for WP:INUNIVERSE.
Grammar. You need to find a copy-editor to go through this, because some of the prose is confusing simply because of the poor diction. =)
See WP:OVERLINK. Some common terms are linked within the article.
- I.e. cowboys for knights, sherrifs (spelled wrong!) for barons, etc.). Memory of the United States continues to affect the culure (sp.) of these nations. Many of these nations fly the US flag...
- All of those links could be un-linked.
Reorganize the "List of Nations" section...Everything in and after the 'other nations' part seems cluttered and garbled.
Watch for original research throughout the article...
- ...but especially in the "Connections to the Nantucket series" section...is all of that OR? (besides the cited section).
- same here: "It should be noted that Dies the Fire, despite its trappings of swords, witches and armor, is not a fantasy. Nothing happens that is not explainable in mundane terms (except for the Change itself). However, Juniper (and, as the story progresses, more and more of her followers) explicitly believes in magic and attributes many happenings to magic and/or divine intervention. Whether or not she is correct is up to the reader to decide; as the series progresses events become harder and harder to explain without recourse to some supernatural agency but die-hard rationalists will find nothing that is impossible."
use {{cite web}} with your web references and {{cite book}} with your book references...

There you are, at long last. If you fix most of these issues, I will go through and do a more thorough review...Cheers! ^-talk- the_ed 17 ^-contribs- 01:38, 24 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]