Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/Verdeja (tank)

Greetings, I was looking forward to expanding this article for a while - since the T-26 article really. I have finally found the time and I have finished the 'rough draft'. I still have to look over my writing and make the prose better, but I would appreciate it if anybody could peer review it and offer specific aid. Thank you. JonCatalan (talk) 20:36, 28 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Skinny87

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Hey Mac! I'll give it a look over now and see if I can give you a hand. I'm fairly new, but hopefuly I'll find something by tonight. Skinny87 (talk) 10:17, 29 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

One thing comes to mind - the red-linked Captain in the Lead. Will he be notable enough to be given an article, or could it be replaced just by text? Skinny87 (talk) 10:39, 29 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Hey Skinny, thank's for taking the time to look at the page! I stubbed that article to get rid of the red link; I may expand the article at a later date, when I can gather enough sources to make a decent article. Thanks! JonCatalan (talk) 11:09, 29 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
No probs. Looking over the lead, this : "The program was headed by Captain Félix Verdeja Bardales and led to the development of four prototype vehicles, including a self-propelled howitzer sporting a 75 mm cannon." might be a good candidate for a citation. I know there's one on the next sentence, but I think it warrants one. Skinny87 (talk) 17:33, 29 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Hm, I normally wouldn't hesitate to put a citation where someone asked me to put one, but do you think it's necessary? I was reading a number of comments on other article's talk pages to pass the good article review and there was one which said that a good lead had as many few citations as possible, as the citations were in the rest of the text. The text does cover all four prototypes in depth, so I don't want to add an unnecessary citation and be asked to remove it down the road.JonCatalan (talk) 11:19, 30 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Well, it's only my first review and you make a good point, so don't add it in! Skinny87 (talk) 17:07, 30 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Dhatfield

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This is well written and excellently cited. I'd say the best way to improve it is to summarise the text, particularly the lead paragraph. "The tank's proved superiority over the T-26 during testing conducted in Spain was not able to influence a large enough effort to put the tank into mass production", is particularly jarring. Although I hesitate to suggest it, consider trimming down the number of facts you present to get better flow, conciseness and notability - this is a barrage of information. Thanks for your citiation work on Tank. Dhatfield (talk) 11:23, 29 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for taking the time to read the article and offering kind words! As per your suggestion, I reworded that specific sentence in the introduction - Although the Verdeja was considered a superior tank to the T-26, after a lengthy testing period, the vehicle was never put into mass production. Furthermore, I took some things out, but I wasn't sure on exactly what could be considered extraneous information (at least, relative to the rest of the information) - for example, I took out references to the angle of the sloping of the plates. In the meanwhile, I will try to improve the introduction by providing a better summary. JonCatalan (talk) 12:15, 29 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]