Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/Arado Ar E.381

I am nominating this article for peer review because I wish for this article to attain FA status, but would like comments before I go through the process. Wikicopter what i do s + c cup|former 03:54, 24 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Fifelfoo

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You may wish to fix your citations for locations; as an offering, I have done this for you (feel free to revert). In particular: No state locations for international cities, "England" => "United Kingdom" problem, contraction vs no-contraction. 4 ISBNs tested okay. Spotcheck for plagiarism / copyright on the one available online source tested okay I can't find any problems, touch my talk page to allow me to note these facts when you hit FAC. Fifelfoo (talk) 04:14, 24 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I think I did last time. Wikicopter what i do s + c cup|former 16:01, 24 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Sp33dyphil

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  • I think the placement of "Parasite aircraft were unusual for aviation." at the end of the first para of "Development" is a bid odd; is there a way to merge this into the paragraph?
    • Merged into the second para.
  • Italicise "Arado Flugzeugwerke" – foreign word.
    •   Done.
  • "External links" should be placed at the very end.
    •   Done.
  • "The Mark II was very similar to the Mark I besides having a larger overall size and smaller fins." Can there be an explanation telling the reader about the longer moment arm necessitates a smaller fin?
    • I don't understand what you mean myself :), so I don't think I'm the one to explain.
      • Naturally, a reader would think that, if the a/c is bigger, then the fins should accordingly be enlarged. This is not the case - a longer aircraft only requires a smaller fin; it's to do with aerodynamics, which is not my field of expertise. I recommend Bobrayner as the go-to man. Sp33dyphil Vote! 08:24, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Re-link Walter HWK 109-509A-2 --> Walter HWK 109-509A-2. Same with Walter HWK 109-509B
    •   Done
  • Missing period at the end of second para of "Development".
    •   Done
  • Add portal, I'm suggesting {{Portal box|Aviation|World War II}}

Farawayman

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  • Lead:
    • "There were three proposed designs for the plane, each being slightly different from each other." Consider "There were three proposed designs for the plane, each being slightly different from the other."
    • "launched from an Arado Ar 234 carrier aircraft to attack Allied aircraft." Consider "launched from an Arado Ar 234 carrier aircraft to attack Allied bombers."
  • Development
    • I think "...placing the pilot in the prone position, which increased the sustainable g-force limit." needs a citation;
    • Consider deleting "...Parasite aircraft were unusual for aviation.[3]" Unless we can explain why they were unusual to the typical "non-aircraft" type reader;
    • Last sentence: "This is because the aircraft was cancelled, due to a lack of funds, mother aircraft Ar 234s and a lack of interest by the Ministry of Aviation" - what was the issue with mother aircraft Ar 234s? Shortage or they did not yet exist?
  • Arado E.381/I
    • "The pilot would lie in a prone position in the very cramped cockpit behind a removable 140-millimeter (5.5 in) bullet-resistant glass screen mounted in front of the pilot" - think you can remove the second reference to "the pilot;"
    • "The aircraft's straight wings had a blister for a single MK 108 30 mm (1.2 in) cannon and..." If the wings had "blisters" there would have been two of them, implying two cannon. If there was only one "blister" then is would have been on one wing only or center aligned between the wings. Think this needs explaining.
    • The text related to the different variants reads as if they were actually built - contrary to the text in the design section. Perhaps the text in the variants section must indicate that these were design variations and not actual prototypes which differed from one-another.
  • Specifications
    • Is the text "Data from Aircraft of the Luftwaffe 1935–1945: An Illustrated History[6] for the Arado E.381/I" needed? Surely a simple cite will suffice?
  • General
    • "External Links" section is duplicated.
    • The "Science, Technology, and National Socialism" source can be referenced on-line here [1], pp103-105
    • Interesting graphic depictions here [2]

Dank

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  • I fiddled with the lead section again, let me know if that doesn't work for you.
  • "All these proposals exploited the Luftwaffe's concept of "gaining a tactical advantage by placing excessive stress on the man in the cockpit".": Why did the Luftwaffe think it gave them an advantage to put excessive stress on their own pilots? Or was the stress on the Allied pilots, and if so, what was the stress?
  • "due to a lack of funds, mother aircraft Ar 234s and a lack of interest": nonparallel. - Dank (push to talk) 00:36, 21 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]