Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/John Troglita

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Article promoted Nick-D (talk) 00:37, 20 May 2012 (UTC)

John Troglita

Nominator(s): Constantine ✍

An article on one of the rather unknown heroes of the Byzantine reconquest of Africa. It passed GA a few months ago, and is quite complete and well-referenced (the neglect of the Byzantine period of North Africa in modern historiography means that Ch. Diehl's 1896 book remains the standard work to this day). I'd like eventually to push this for FA, so any criticism and/or advice is welcome! Constantine ✍ 13:33, 23 March 2012 (UTC)

Comments. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. - Dank (push to talk)

• I don't know what "arrested ... to the Persians" means.
• "in the another": I'm not sure if this is supposed to be "in another" or "in the other". - Dank (push to talk) 21:52, 30 March 2012 (UTC)

• Thanks for starting the review! I have clarified/fixed both sentences, and made a few other minor copyedits. Constantine ✍ 06:34, 13 April 2012 (UTC)

• Support on prose per standard disclaimer. - Dank (push to talk) 03:27, 14 April 2012 (UTC)

Support

• I wonder if there are more images that could be added to break up the text a little more. Are there any images of the battles in which Troglita took part? I won't hold it against the article, though, as the image that is there is fine and correctly licenced (I think - I tweaked some of its details, to be sure);
• in the lead, this sounds awkward to me: "where a succession of revolts by the indigenous Moorish tribes and of military revolts had seriously reduced the Byzantine position" (specifically "and of military revolts"). Perhaps try: "where a succession of revolts by the indigenous Moorish tribes and the military had seriously reduced the Byzantine position";
• these sorts of constructions sound a bit awkward to my ears "In summer 546" (etc. there are others similar to this). I feel that they need a definate article and the word "of" (e.g. "In the summer of 546", but if others disagree, I can live with that;
• "he need for a new and capable leader in Africa was apparent". Apparent to whom? Justinian perhaps?
• this sounded a bit awkward to me: "The exact date of Troglita's death is unknown, but most likely he died in 552 or soon after". Perhaps try: "The exact date of Troglita's death is unknown, but it is most likely that he died in 552 or soon after";
• the infobox says his rank was "magister militum", but the article seems to indicate that it was "patricius". This seems inconsistent, but as I don't know much about the era, I can't really be sure. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 07:13, 15 April 2012 (UTC)

Thanks for the review! I've dealt with the issues you raised. As for the images, there isn't any depiction of Troglita or the events described in the article, as far as I know - and if there i, it would be a modern work and subject to copyright restrictions. I am searching for suitable material though, and if I find anything, it will be included. Constantine ✍ 15:53, 18 April 2012 (UTC)

Support

• Prose/structure/style -- as for Al-Mundhir III ibn al-Harith, copyedited but little needed on another readable and well formatted article.
• Refs/citations -- again, for FAC I believe "Martindale, Jones & Morris 1992" should appear as "Martindale; Jones; Morris 1992" per the full reference format.
• Images -- happy to rely on Rupert's check above.
• Source spotcheck -- used Diehl, as it's fully online, and my French is not too bad; FNs 5, 10, 17 and 23 all looked okay.
• Content -- a bit more detailed than the Al-Mundhir account, quite sufficient for ACR, and I think we get a little more insight into John's character here, at least at Cato; again, of course, when it gets to FAC it'd be great to see a bit more on the personaility of the man should anything be available in your sources. Overall, though, well done! Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 14:26, 7 May 2012 (UTC)

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The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.