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Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Egmont Prinz zur Lippe-Weißenfeld

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Egmont Prinz zur Lippe-Weißenfeld edit

Promoted --Eurocopter (talk) 14:57, 21 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Nominator(s): MisterBee1966 (talk)
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I am nominating this article for A-Class review. I seek all comments and feedback in benefit of the article.MisterBee1966 (talk) 10:15, 7 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

  • Comments
    • Do to a technical glitch I am unable to check the disambig links. No problems are reported with the external links. Alt text tool reports that all images in the article are in need of alt text, please add this to your images.
      done No disambiguation links on Egmont Prinz zur Lippe-Weißenfeld MisterBee1966 (talk) 05:34, 9 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
      done Alt text added MisterBee1966 (talk) 05:44, 9 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • In the "Military Service" you have the sentence "His Luftwaffe career started with the II. Gruppe (group) of the Zerstörergeschwader 76 (ZG 76)..." The period after II creates the illusion that the sentence is a fragment, I would suggest either removing the period or putting the II in italics so that II Gruppe appears as a German unit and thus is not mistaken for the end of the sentence.
      done put in italics MisterBee1966 (talk) 05:44, 9 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • In the same section you have the following sentence: "He was wounded in action on 13 March 1941, while flying Bf 110 D-2 (W.Nr. 3376 — factory number) of the 4./NJG1 with his radio operator Josef Renette when he made an emergency landing at Bergen after their aircraft was hit by the defence fire, wounding them both." Where did their plane take AA-fire? England? France? Over the English Channel? Somewhere else? See if you can nail this down, and if at all possible add the unit(s) providing the AA-fire that compelled the plane to make an emergency landing.
      can't do I checked all my references but they give no indication as to where the action took place. MisterBee1966 (talk) 05:46, 9 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • In the same section the word General is written in italics. Why are English words in the article in italics? Surely General doesn't need to be italicized, does it?
      done removed italics MisterBee1966 (talk) 05:47, 9 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • In the same section you have the following sentence: "On 30 June 1941 while flying Bf 110 C-4 (W.Nr. 3273) on a practice intercept mission, he collided with Bf 110 C-7 (W.Nr. 2075) of the 4./NJG 1 and crashed near Bergen aan Zee." Where was the practice intercept mission being carried out, and can we link to Bergen aan Zee?
      done added location and linked Bergen aan Zee MisterBee1966 (talk) 05:54, 9 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • In the same section you have the following paragraph: "In January 1941 Prinz zur Lippe-Weißenfeld became acquainted with Hannelore Ide, nicknamed Idelein. She was a secretary for a Luftgau. The two shared a close relationship and spent as much time together as the war permitted, listening to music and sailing on the Zuiderzee until his death in 1944." If you have any information on his personal life, like surviving family, I would recommend split this info out of the Military Service section and placing it in a "personal life" section. If no additional information can be provided for his personal life, disregard this suggestion.
      done provided a bit more information on the relationship and moved the paragraph into his personal life section. MisterBee1966 (talk) 06:07, 9 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • In the same section you have the following sentence: "He was transferred again, taking command of the III. Gruppe of NJG 1 on 31 May 1943." Again, the period after the III creates the illusion that the sentence ends. If at all possible I suggest removing the period or expanding the Italics to include the III so that people read this as part of a German term and not as the end of the sentence.
      done put in italics and provided the English equivalent MisterBee1966 (talk) 05:59, 9 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Overall it looks good. Well Done! TomStar81 (Talk) 01:58, 8 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support
  • You mention that he was in the hospital for a month, but don't explain why. Was he sick, injured in fighting, etc.?
  • Please explain the cause of his accident. You mention bad weather, but was that the primary cause?
Looks good, but expansion in those areas would be appreciated. – Joe N 00:01, 12 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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