Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Bert T. Combs
- The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Article promoted Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:32, 5 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Bert T. Combs edit
After two successive FACs crashed and burned, I took a couple of years off from this article. Now I've come back to it with more editing experience and more sources. I think it should be pretty close to both A-class and FA-class. Combs was a lawyer and politician for most of his life, but he earned the Bronze Star Medal and the Philippine Military Merit Medal for helping prosecute Japanese war criminals during World War II. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 13:26, 30 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Comments:
- Mainly copy-editing points.
- "when Earle C. Clements, the leader of one faction, chose Combs to challenge A. B. "Happy" Chandler, the leader of the other faction, " - the repetition of "leaders of factions" made this read a bit awkwardly, particularly in the lead.
- "but, ultimately, he did" - "but ultimately did so."?
- "Combs was named to the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals by President Johnson" - could you go for "appointed to" as per the earlier paragraph? ("named" may not be a familiar verb for some non-US readers).
- "His body was found in the Red River near Rosslyn, in Powell County, the following morning. His cause of death was listed as hypothermia." - how about "His body was found in the Red River near Rosslyn, in Powell County, the following morning, having died of hypothermia." or something similar? ("listed as hypothermia" suggests that he didn't really die that way!)
- "The Combs family was one of the oldest in the United States. " - presumably "one of the oldest settler/European" families?
- "born in the Town Branch section of Manchester, Kentucky, on August 13, 1911; he was one of seven children born to" - several "born to"s
- " was active in local politics, despite being a Democrat in a heavily Republican county" ? Not sure this made sense to me.
- "because it's school term " - "its"
- " In many of his cases, Combs represented coal companies in worker's compensation cases" - repetition of cases
- "In George Robinson's oral history" - I may have missed this, but who's George Robinson? And does it matter that this was an oral history?
- Robinson was a professor at Eastern Kentucky University who conducted and recorded a series of interviews to compile an oral history of Combs' life. In 1991, he published excerpts as a book, which is one of the sources cited in the bibliography. I know this is a little rough, but I'm not sure how best to introduce this observation by Combs. I want to make it clear it wasn't his assessment immediately after the election, but rather many years later, at the end of his political career. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 18:54, 1 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "$20,000" and similar figures - is it worth giving equivalent modern sums? (it is otherwise unclear how large/small these are)
- "Combs secured the endorsement of former Vice-President and native Kentuckian Alben W. Barkley, but the endorsement came too late" - first endorsement could be "support"?
- "This was the closest Kentucky has come to revising the 1891 constitution, which remains in effect today" - earlier in the paragraph you said it had been amended 19 times?
- "The new-found attractiveness of government jobs meant increased potential for corruption, and Combs, recognizing this, demanded that state employees stick strictly to the rules governing their offices." - I wasn't sure why paying the workers more would encourage corruption. Hchc2009 (talk) 17:43, 1 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks for the review. I hope these responses are satisfactory. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 18:54, 1 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Now Support. Hchc2009 (talk) 20:29, 5 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Support, with some comments:
- Minor copyedits but prose generally excellent, likewise structure, referencing and images.
- One slight reservation is that right from the lead it's quite densely detailed, however I'm loath to ask you to cut things because it flows well in any case. One possibility that came to mind was breaking out Rose v. Council for Better Education into its own article, but that's just a thought...
- I have no doubt that Rose v. Council for Better Education could stand alone as its own article, especially since the much-vaunted Kentucky Education Reform Act (KERA) was scrapped a few years ago because people felt it was ineffective. However, that article would be at least as much about education as politics, and that would put it a little too far out of my comfort zone for me to attempt. Additionally, I'm a little too close to that subject, since I was in the third grade when KERA was passed; I was affected by it for the rest of my K-12 education, and I have a particular bias about how well it worked or didn't work. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 12:30, 23 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- Last thing -- and I think I've brought this up before, but at FAC, not ACR -- is that the Ancestors should be cited, like everything else in the article. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 06:27, 22 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Images: all OK. Grandiose (me, talk, contribs) 18:09, 23 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Support: I've read through this (and made a couple of minor tweaks). I believe that it meets the project's A-class criteria, but have the following suggestions for further tweaks before you take it to FAC:
- the duplicate link checker tool highlights the following as examples of potential overlink: Kentucky Court of Appeals (twice in lead); Officer Candidate School (U.S. Army); Lieutenant Governor of Kentucky; Sales tax; Virginia; Kentucky State Capitol;
- there is a bit of legacy coding/mark up at the end of the article "-->" that should probably be removed or tweaked. I would have done it myself, but it seems like it was meant to comment out the ancestry? I'm still seeing the ancestry tree...
- in the Bibliography, inconsistent date format: "August 27, 2009. Retrieved 2009-11-04";
- in the Bibliography, are there page numbers that could be added for the article by Dove?
- The copy I have is from an electronic database. I don't remember which one, but I'm sure I could find it again if I had to. Bottom line is, the page numbering on this copy begins at 1, which might not be the right numbering for the original source. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 14:45, 4 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- In that case I would suggest including information about the electronic database you got it from. AustralianRupert (talk) 08:16, 5 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- I think it was a link from ERIC, which I have added. Unfortunately, it looks like they've had to remove their full-text articles from the web until they can be scoured for personal information, but that looks like a temporary condition, so the URL should be useful in the not-too-distant future. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 17:18, 5 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- In that case I would suggest including information about the electronic database you got it from. AustralianRupert (talk) 08:16, 5 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- The copy I have is from an electronic database. I don't remember which one, but I'm sure I could find it again if I had to. Bottom line is, the page numbering on this copy begins at 1, which might not be the right numbering for the original source. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 14:45, 4 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- same as above for the chapter by Harrison?
- same as above for the chapter by Robinson? AustralianRupert (talk) 23:10, 2 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.