Wikipedia:WikiProject France/Peer review/Cyrille Pierre Théodore Laplace

Cyrille Pierre Théodore Laplace edit

Just completed expansion of the article, would love to have someone run through it. \ / (⁂) 00:59, 11 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Lazulilasher Good work. I am not sure what your goals are with this article (i.e. GA? A-class, etc); so, I will try and give some generic advice. You have done a great expansion on the article.

Here we go:

Watch NPOV terms: Laplace (November 7, 1793-1875) was a French navigator ~~famous~~ for his circumnavigation of the globe on board the La Favorite. Try --> Laplace...was a French navigator who circumnavigated the globe on board La Favorite. (la=the, no need for redundancy).
My curiosity is piqued: "Laplace was born at sea on November 7, 1793."; any details?
The same here: "After completing one of his hydrological assignments"; such as? What was the experiment? What was uncovered?
"He, at some point, was in command of a schooner in Gorée, Senegal." Do we not know?
Can we combine/simplify these similar ideas? "re-establishing French influence of the Indo-China area.[4] Laplace's prime objective was to re-establish French"
Any further information about his life outside of the circumnavigation? What did he do upon his return 1833-37?
Lastly, a minor copyediting point: try and have footnotes placed directly after punctuation.

I hope this helped with your improvement of the article. Regards, Lazulilasher (talk) 16:47, 21 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review. » \ / (⁂ | ※) 23:02, 21 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]