 | This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous. Such material is not meant to be taken seriously. |
This template is used to cite sources in Wikipedia. It is specifically for some guy in a bar. Given what passes for reliable sources nowadays, we might as well have this template. This template replaces the deprecated {{drunk guy}}. In certain specific situations, {{cite guy on subway}} or {{cite something I heard somewhere}} work better.
Usage edit
All field names must be in lowercase.
Copy a blank version to use. Remember to use the "|" (pipe) character between each field. Please delete any unused fields to avoid clutter in the edit window.
| Full version (copy and paste text below and delete parameters you don't need) | ||
|---|---|---|
| ||
| Example 1 | {{cite guy in bar
|sobriety=drunk
|volume=high
|vehemence=extreme
|gesturing=hands, arms
|number of friends=4
|friends agreement=nodding, murmuring
|drink=shots-and-beers
|dress=casual
|type of bar=sports
|football games on=4
|heard on=radio
|read in=
|heard from=
|swore to God/Christ=yes
|passed out after=yes (full floor dive)
}}
|
Some guy in a bar, but he was definitely, definitely on the level. I totally believe him. |
Description of fields edit
- sobriety: allowable values are "sober", "a little soft around the edges", "drunk", "shitfaced", or "has not been sober since, apparently, the Carter administration".
- volume: allowable values are "loud", "shouting", "screaming", or "shrieking".
- vehemence: allowable values are "very" or "extremely".
- gestures: allowable values, which may be combined with the '+' character, are: "hand-waving", "arm-waving", "kicking", and "whole body dance".
- number of friends: an integer indicating the number of people gathered around the source.
- friends agreement: allowable values, which may be combined with the '+' character, are: "nodding", "murmuring", "slamming hands on bar", "saying 'yeah!'", and "shouting 'say it, brother!'".
- drink: description of what the source was drinking.
- dress: description of what the source was wearing.
- type of bar: allowable values are "Irish", "sports", "Irish sports", "neighborhood", "off-campus", and "abandoned construction shack behind Matty's dad's house". [N.B.: use of "hipster", "yupscale", or "karaoke" in this field automatically invalidates the citation]
- football games on: integer indicating the number of different football games being shown simultaneously on TV. [N.B.: only count games where volume is cranked to max.]
- heard on: allowable values are "radio", "the radio", "talk show", "FOX News", "the news", or "the TV"
- read in: allowable values are "internet", "the internet", "the computer", or "Jack Chick tract".
- heard from: only allowable value is "cousin's roomate's friend who knows this guy who works in the White House".
- swore to God/Christ: allowable values are "yes" or "implied".
- passed out afterwards: allowable values "yes, source", "yes, me", or "yes, both of us".
Note that, under the principle of in vino veritas, the more drunk the source is, the more reliable the information. Volume and vehemence are also important in establishing the veracity of the information.
Venue is also important. If it's one of those bars where everybody is wearing black, and the source is drinking absinthe or some fruity drink or something, and they are playing shoegaze music (but ironically, of course) or whatever instead of showing the Rams game, then obviously the source is not reliable.