Wikipedia:Peer review/Wipeout 3/archive1

Wipeout 3

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like to get it to FA class whenever I have time to... Thanks in advance, --Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs ^(talk) 18:25, 24 July 2008 (UTC)

No mention of the Special Edition? --Mika1h (talk) 20:12, 24 July 2008 (UTC)

Ashnard comments

• "race against human and A.I. opponents," I think you'd be hard pushed to name me any other multiplayer racing games where this doesn't apply. Seems needless in the lead. Info doesn't seem to be in the main body of text further down.
• "Visually, The Designers Republic". Reading the rest of the sentence, "visually," doesn't seem to mean anything here. Would "regarding visuals" work?
• "neutral design" What does this mean?
• "allowing for crisper graphics". Not a fan of "allowing for", but that's my opinion. Crisper than what?
• "techno" and "electronica" should be wikilinked.
• I'm no expert in grammar, but I'm failing to see why "would be" is used in the last sentence of the lead. Same for last paragraph of "Reception".
• The first letter of a caption still needs to be capitalised.
• "Players control futuristic hovercraft owned by special corporations and pilot them on racecourses." Wow, this game sounds promising—"futurisic" and "special", woah. Saying they're made by "special corporations" leaves me non-the-wiser. Could mean anything.
• "Shields can be regenerated in a pit lane, set apart from the main course" "Which is"? You could otherwise remove the comma.
• "The default game mode bestowsawards medals onto the top three finishing craft" Better?
• "to beat courses in a certain amount of time." Grammar: you do not "beat" the course.
• "racing experience of earlier game" Obvious error.
• "Wipeout 3 was the first Wipeout game to take advantage of Sony's PlayStation controllers with analog sticks, in orderused to offer smoother control overof the player's craft." Better?
• "tacked-on" Remove unless it can be quoted; informal.
• Inconsistency with how "Wipeout 3" is spelled out—"wip3out".
• "IGN named Wip3out the most accessible game of the series, and the title was named the 92nd best game by the publication in 2007." Probably best if you name the occassion specifically here, i.e. "IGN's Top 100 Games".
• The Designer Republics', I thought it was "Designers Republic", thus making the apostrophe erroneous here.
• "bring the locales of the series to life" Probably best if you could quote this phrase here, as the locales aren't technically "brought to life".
• "A major fault reviewers found with the game was the steep learning curve of the game." Repetiton.
• "GamePro found that proper handling required lots of patience and practice." "lots of" sounds unprofessional here. "of the game" is probably redundant.
• "sense of disappointment that the series broke little new ground." Talk literally please.
• No sales? I take it you've checked, David?

Okay, would probably do fine at FAC, although, as in Midtown Madness, an absence of sales data would deter me from supporting. Thanks. Ashnard _Talk ^Contribs 17:29, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)

• You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC. The sourcing looks good.

Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 13:25, 26 July 2008 (UTC)

Comments from Judgesurreal777 (talk · contribs)

• Ok, sorry if I repeat other comments, but here's what I see
• The game cover image has no source in the fair use rationale
• Does the game have a plot or characters? that would be good to include
• Double check, make sure reception and development are comprehensive, and you got everything
• Copyedit, and then take to FAC.
• If you need any more suggestions, leave a note at my talk page and I'll look again.

Judgesurreal777 (talk) 21:35, 29 July 2008 (UTC)