Wallkill Valley Rail Trail edit
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I've recently restructured the article per another editor's comments, and would like input from someone unfamiliar with the region and subject on where it falls short on meeting the FA criteria.
Thanks, Gyrobo (talk) 22:49, 12 January 2011 (UTC)
Finetooth comments: This is well-done, broad in coverage, and well-illustrated. I enjoyed reading it. Here are some suggestions for further improvement.
- I'd move the {{Coord}} template from above the geobox to the "External links" section. I can't find the guideline just now, but the template works fine if placed in EL, and it may give screen readers trouble if placed at the top of the page. Or, I think you could add the coordinates to the geobox. This leads to another couple of questions. What is the source for the coordinates? What point on the trail do they identify? Would it be useful to add the coordinates for the two end points of the trail?
- I've never seen more than one set of coordinates in the page's title, and I've never seen such coordinates sourced. I just picked what I thought was the midpoint of the trail.
- I like this geobox. I hadn't noticed a trail geobox before (though I've used geoboxes for streams, mountains, ghost towns, and a few other things). I will use yours as a model for at least one trail article I'm working on.
- Another editor recently came up with a solution to add embedded map data to the hiking infobox. You may be interested in it.
- I'd shorten the "Recreation and activities" head to "Recreation" and the "Course of the trail" head to "Course". WP:MOSHEAD has the guidelines.
- Done.
Lead
- "as well as Route 44/55, NY 299, and NY 213" - It's usually better to replace front slashes with specific words. Also, foreigners might not know what things like NY 299 refer to without clicking on the links. Suggestion: "as well as U.S. Route 44 (concurrent with State Route 55), and state routes 299 and 213".
- Done.
- Should the lead and a bit of text in the "Route" section mention that the trail runs north–south slightly west of Poughkeepsie? Most readers will be unfamiliar with the geography of the region and it would be good to quickly orient them.
New Paltz and Gardiner
- The order of the dates in the second paragraph are a bit confusing because the 2007 purchase comes between the 1991 purchase and the 1993 formal opening. Only in the next paragraph do we learn that part of the trail was in an informal state until 2007. Could the material be re-arranged to maintain a more straightforward chronological flow?
- Done.
- "In 2009 and 2010, the Tea Party movement held protests along the Gardiner section of the trail." - What was it protesting? It's not clear why the trail would be a good location for a protest. I'm guessing that they were objecting to paying for the trail, but even if that's true, foreign readers would not guess that without being told.
- The sources don't say anything more than that a protest happened there, but from my understanding it was just an ordinary protest (one of many scheduled for that day, per the sources), not directed at the trail.
- "The Wallkill Valley Railroad had been planning such a connection since the bridge opened in 1889" - Slightly smoother might be "The Wallkill Valley Railroad had planned such a connection after the bridge opened in 1889".
- Done.
- "the parking area of the Sojourner Truth park" - Maybe "park named after Sojourner Truth" so that a link to Sojourner Truth would be more feasible? Oh, I see that it's linked in a later section. Better to link it here on first use.
- Done.
Rosendale
- "contains the 940-foot (290 m) Rosendale trestle.[4][1] - Wikipedia articles generally arrange serial refs in ascending order; i.e., [1][4].
- Done.
Route of the trail
- "Over the next 1⁄2 miles (0.80 km)" - Singular, mile, rather than miles?
- Unfortunately, that's how {{convert}} handles fractional values for the mile unit. I also found it annoying, because I frequently use fractional values between zero and one.
Recreation and activities
- "after the 1825 discovery of Rosendale cement" - Since cement is a manufactured product, "discovered" isn't the right word. The limestone is probably what was discovered.
- Done.
- "One person has tried bungee jumping off the bridge without a restraining cord." - I'm not sure what this means. Could the restraining cord be briefly explained? Is it a safety device?
- From what I can tell, it's the actual cord. The book only mentioned this briefly.
- "and at a BOCES conference center" - Abbreviations are usually spelled out as well as abbreviated on first use; i.e., Board of Cooperative Educational Services (BOCES).
- In this case, I think it's appropriate to keep the acronym. This is the only use of the term in the article, and I've never heard anyone use BOCES' full name in common usage.
Flora and fauna
- Linking to the Latin names is good, but listing them all in the text might be overkill.
- I didn't want the paragraph to just be links. The Latin names break up the links.
Images
- The image description page for File:Gardiner NY Rail Trail.jpg is pretty skimpy. It would be good to add the "what", "when", and "where" information to the summary. The "when", June 2007, can be plucked from the camera data at the bottom of the page. It would be good to say where on the trail this is and what the little structure is, if you have that information or can figure it out.
- Done.
- The "Route of the trail" section is a bit too crowded with images. MOS:IMAGES advises against creating text sandwiches between images on the opposite sides of the page. Unless you can add text to make the section bigger, there's probably no way to fit five images into the section without making at least one text sandwich.
- I'm not using a widescreen monitor, so I'm not seeing the effect.
- The "New Paltz and Gardiner" section is also too crowded. I think you can only fit two images into a section this size without making a text sandwich.
- Again, it really depends on monitor resolution.
- I'd suggest merging "Flora" and "Fauna" under a single head, "Flora and fauna", to make room for the tree image, which now overlaps the two short sections and displaces an edit button.
- Done, but now it displaces more of the References section.
I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider commenting on any other article at WP:PR. I don't usually watch the PR archives or make follow-up comments. If my suggestions are unclear, please ping me on my talk page. Finetooth (talk) 00:54, 16 January 2011 (UTC)