Wikipedia:Peer review/Turok: Dinosaur Hunter/archive1

Turok: Dinosaur Hunter edit

I nominated this for GA, but it did not pass. I tried to fix it up as much as possible, but I would like some more input. Please see the talk page for more info regarding the reasons it did not pass (and my response). Thunderbrand 16:12, 15 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, APR _t 23:14, 15 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]

ahh this game brings back old memories anyway,
and finally the Chronoscepter, a weapon that shoots a blue laser, which according to the game's manual, creates "micro-tears in the fabric of space time". remove 'finally' and don't write that you refer to the manual as you have it as a reference.
'Worldwide sales of Dinosaur Hunter surpassed USD$60 million in late June of 1997, according to Business Wire.'[10] No need to have 'according' there as you back it up with a reference
'Doug Perry of the multimedia website IGN awarded the game an 8.6 out of a possible 10. He said the game "stands on the shoulders of all previous Doom games", and the gameplay takes the title to places "Doom's never been"'
Doug Perry of the multimedia website IGN awarded the game 8.6 out of 10 stating the game "stands on the shoulders of all previous Doom games", and the gameplay takes the title to places "Doom's never been, that sounds better
is David Dienstbier a notable game designer? if so create a stub on him
'Besides obtaining ammunition,' every gun game has ammunition so i don't think that needs to be mentioned or worded better.
what about that blue person that helps turok, or is that only in #2?
if you want me to i can give it a small copyedit otherwise goodluck and goodwork on the article :) M3tal H3ad 02:07, 19 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your suggestions. In regard to your question, I think you are referring to Adon, who is in Turok 2. Thunderbrand 02:19, 19 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]