Wikipedia:Peer review/Triturus/archive1

Triturus

This peer review discussion has been closed.
Hi! I've been working for a while on this article on crested and marbled newts and would eventually like to submit it as FAC. It could probably do with some improvements of language and style, but all your comments, contributions and suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks, Tylototriton (talk) 13:50, 30 June 2015 (UTC)

Comments by Vanamonde93

• "Genus name was introduced by Constantine..." I would suggest "introduced by the polymath Constantine..." just to provide a little more context.
• Second paragraph of taxonomy; I would suggest switching the common names with the genus names, since they have been introduced as genera.

I decided to stick with the common names (for species and genera) throughout the article as much as possible, but give the scientific name in brackets at first mention.Tylototriton (talk) 07:56, 15 August 2015 (UTC)

• In the figure caption for the first picture, I would suggest adding a date after "was recognized."
• The third paragraph, IMO, should being "As of..." rather than "Currently.."
• Last sentence of the section; should "T. karelinii and T. ivanbureschi are sister to the remaining species." contain the plural sisters?

Well, this is about a sister group (karelinii + ivanbureschi), so I think singular is more appropriate, but I'll try to reword. Tylototriton (talk) 07:56, 15 August 2015 (UTC)

• "The southern marbled newt (Triturus pygmaeus) is an exception with only 10–12 cm length." I think that "is an exception, with a length of only 10-12 cm" would be a better construction.
• "Crested newts are dark brown, with black spots on the sides and some white stippling depending on the species." It is unclear here what exactly depends on the species. The brown? The black spots? The white stippling? I would suggest something like "All Crested newts are dark brown with black spots on the sides, while some species have white stippling."
• "Females and juveniles can have a yellow line running down their back and tail in some species." Unless I am misunderstanding this, I would suggest "Females and juveniles of some species have a yellow line running down their back and tail."
• I would break the paragraph between crested and marbled newts, and again before you talk about crests, just to make it absolutely clear which sections are relevant to the whole genus, and which ones only to Marbled newts. Not a big deal, really, but I think I would have understood it easier if this had been done.
• "The tail will show a silvery-white band at breeding time in males." I think that "Male newts develop a silvery-white band on their tails during the breeding season." I would also clarify whether these are specific to Marbled newts, and if they are, move this sentence up to just after "...in female marbled newts."
• I would suggest replacing '...there are also different body forms in the genus." with "...species within the genus also have different body forms."
• Perhaps "herpetologist Willy Wolterstoff"?
• Note Please feel free to revert any of the copy-editing I do.

Thanks for the suggestions, I'll include most of them! Tylototriton (talk) 07:56, 15 August 2015 (UTC)

• Note Apologies for the gap, been busy with real life. This review has been formally closed, but as I discussed here with the closer, that was an emergency action and so I will go ahead and cover the rest of the article here. Give me a brief while. Vanamonde93 (talk) 03:16, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

• "In contrast, identifying the crested newt species based on appearance is not straightforward..." perhaps "In contrast, separating crested newt species...."

Done.

• "After larval development in the first year, juveniles pass another year or two (longer in their northern range)" This is not very clear. Does it mean that juveniles in the north take longer than two years, or is it that they take a period towards the longer end of the 1-2 year range?

Clarified this.

• "...but without fish." The reason for this preference would be interesting, although not necessary.

Added reason.

• "southern range parts" sounds a bit weird, but also could use clarification.

Reworded.

• "Males are territorial and use "courtship arenas" (leks)" I would suggest "...are territorial and use leks, or courtship arenas." "Lek" is an accepted biological term, and should be used directly, methinks.

Done.

• "secrete a milky substance." What is its purpose? What does it consist of?

The source has no further details on this, unfortunately.

• Excellent work on that map, it is really very thorough. My only quibble is it looks a bit squashed vertically. You could probably stretch it without difficulty; if not, just ignore this.

Not my work, taken from an article... I'll try and see if I can stretch it; I hadn't realised but you're right in fact, it is squashed.

• Overall, excellent job with this article, and good luck with any GA/FA nom. I'll try and look in on any such! Vanamonde93 (talk) 20:35, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

Thanks, and thanks for your comments! Tylototriton (talk) 09:37, 22 August 2015 (UTC)