Wikipedia:Peer review/Those Once Loyal/archive1

Those Once Loyal edit

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This peer review discussion is closed.

I've listed this article for peer review because...please look for readability nonsensical stuff bias typos and other things. GA/FA attempt Of note: composition is a bit wierd so please cross-examine

Thanks, Chchcheckit (talk) 12:40, 10 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Z1720 edit

Comments after a quick skim:

The "Critical reception" section falls into an "X says Y" pattern. WP:RECEPTION has some useful tips on how to avoid this.
The block quote and image in "Legcay" are causing MOS:SANDWICH, which is discouraged. I suggest removing the quote.
The article uses many large paragraphs. I suggest splitting these up and using level 3 headings to split up the larger sections.

I hope this helps. Z1720 (talk) 15:32, 10 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]