Wikipedia:Peer review/Sindhu Bhairavi/archive1

Sindhu Bhairavi edit

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for December 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… this article is awaiting a GA review for a long time. I have taken this article from a stub to B-class and want to see it as a GA. But the problem is the scope of improvement for this article. This article has all the information available on the net. But I am afraid of it being turned down as a GA as it lacks production and reception information. I need someone to help me pass this article as a GA

Thanks, Bharathprime (talk) 04:24, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments: The prose is a major problem in the article and it needs attention throughout. Here are some of many examples of poor writing:

How the situation gets relaxed and the singer comes around forms the climax of the film. Does this mean. "The solution to the singer's problems forms the climax of the film."

The climax of the film is the status of the relationship between JKB, Sindhu and Bhairavi. I guess the phrase needs to be changed. Current version: (A Carnatic singer (JKB) at the peak of his career looses his credibility as he gets addicted to alcohol due to the loss of an intimate companion (Sindhu). Bhairavi (JKB's wife) ties to help him get rid of the addiction and fails. As a last resort she requests Sindhu's help and succeeds. The status of relationship between the three after his makeover is the climax of the film). Bharathprime (talk) 19:48, 12 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

A Carnatic Music genius, JKB (Sivakumar) is married to Bhairavi (Sulakshana), a loyal and loving wife, but one who is not able to satisfy or challenge him intellectually and is grieved due to her inability to beget an offspring. - Try "JKB (Sivakumar) is a gifted carnatic musician but his wife Bhairavi (Sulakshana), despite her love and loyalty, fails to satisfy or challenge him. For JKB, this, and her inabilty to have children, is a problem."

Done, Thanks. Bharathprime (talk) 19:48, 12 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

a Tambura musician who is penchant of speaking lies. try "compulsive liar".

Done, Thanks. Bharathprime (talk) 19:48, 12 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Tuned the music is not idiomatic. Graham Colm ^Talk 17:47, 27 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done, Thanks. Bharathprime (talk) 19:48, 12 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]