Wikipedia:Peer review/Saxophone/archive1

Saxophone edit

This peer review discussion has been closed.
This FFA was completley rewritten around information from the Grove Dictionary of Music and Musicians and the other sources present in the article. After realising that inline citations were ridiculous, it was converted to a largely bibliography-based referencing system, which permitted it to pass GA review. I'd like to know what needs to be done to get it back to featured status, particularly with consideration to referencing and additional content. I know a lot of (unsourced) information about specific composers and pieces using the saxophone was removed during the rewrite (here's a pre-rewrite version), and I simply dumped the entire "technique" section into saxophone technique, which is now a complete mess. Does some of this stuff need to be worked back in, or is it better off in the gutter? Happymelon 15:29, 22 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • Okay, this article regretfully needs a great deal of work, which is sadly like most musical instruments on Wikipedia. Generally speaking it's underreferenced, but a few lines stick out to me: "It is suspected that Sax himself may have attempted this modification." Who suspects this? Everyybody? Saxophonists? Specialists? Writers? We need to know who suspects this, and very much need a source that verifies it. If it's annotated in one of the books that's listed in references, we need a footnote-reference indicating the page. "This extension was adopted into almost all modern designs." This is split-tense prose. It either should be "has been adopted" or "was adopted into most designs of the time" (or something to that effect). There are a number of other things which I don't have time for now, but tonight, I'll thoroughly scour through and see what I can help you with. In the meantime, just try to reference anything that potentially needs it. The line about Jazz being the most common use of Sax definitely needs citation, even though there's no real question about it, it's still a very BIG statement to just be sitting there with the reference not being pointed out (even if it is in one of the footnoted references, one is not going to read them all to figure out where it is confirmed. I know I'm not). I'll be back. --rm 'w avu 20:42, 24 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'm curious why the in-line citations set-up didn't work for you. Surely, a line like this is begging for a citation or, perhaps, a non-NPOV tag: By far the most well known, and iconic, implementation of the saxophone is in modern jazz music, usually in the form of a saxophone quartet or larger ensemble. That's just one example. I see the editor above has a similar concern. I'm also curious what is the reasoning for the forced ToC. Personally, I would recommend removing that, and moving the image of Adolphe Sax to the right so that he is facing into the article (as is the policy in the Manual of Style). Anyway, like the editor above me, what will likely keep this article from passing FA is the lack of referencing. Consider some of the more recently-passed FA articles: Harold Innis, Emily Dickinson, Atom, Hockey Hall of Fame. Hope that helps. --Midnightdreary (talk) 15:42, 3 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]