Wikipedia:Peer review/Robert of Jumièges/archive1

Robert of Jumièges edit

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I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to take it to FAC at some point, and need help identifying jargon, prose concerns, and anything that isn't clear to a non-medievalist.

Thanks, Ealdgyth - Talk 15:59, 24 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting article, will try to look at it from a FA/FAC standpoint. Most of these will be fairly nit-picky. Here are some suggestions for improvement:

While there is no length requirement for FA, this is fairly short - my guess is that this is about all that is known about him, but I think some more background might help make the article clearer and expand it a bit in the process.
Since his date of death is uncertain, should that be made clearer in the lead? Also is there any sort of guess as to his year of birth?

Attempted on the death, I do not have ANY guesses on his birth. Anything I put in would be OR. Ealdgyth - Talk 19:33, 30 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The main suggestion I have is to provide context for the reader WP:PCR to make things clearer for those not as familiar with this era of history.
Specific examples where more context is needed
- Do not need to wikilink William the Conqueror twice in the lead (in two sentences) and it might not be clear to everyone that "future king William of Normandy" is the same as "Duke William".

fixed. Ealdgyth - Talk 19:33, 30 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

- Identify William of Jumièges, perhaps as "medieval historian William of Jumièges"? in the lead. I also assume he was no relation - is this worth saying?

fixed and explained. Ealdgyth - Talk 19:33, 30 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

- Explain why "Edward the Confessor was still in exile in Normandy"

VERY wordy explanation put in ... Ealdgyth - Talk 19:33, 30 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

- Similarly explain "the party opposed to Earl Godwin."

explained Ealdgyth - Talk 22:22, 30 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

- Explain simony - presumably the king sold the chruch office?

explanation added. Ealdgyth - Talk 22:22, 30 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

- Why did Godwin return from exile?

explained (mainly, to get back in power, and recover his estates) Ealdgyth - Talk 22:22, 30 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

- Why was Robert outlawed and deposed on September 14, 1052.[8]?

expained Ealdgyth - Talk 22:22, 30 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Cite saints generally do not divorce their wives because the wife is barren. Nor do saints concern themselves with the need to provide themselves with heirs. sounds like Original research otherwise.

Clarified the wording. these section is sourced to the Walker ref, btw. Ealdgyth - Talk 22:22, 30 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Missing word When Godwin [returned?] from exile in 1052 Robert left England quickly,[17]

fixed in some other editing. Ealdgyth - Talk 22:22, 30 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Is the Sacramentarium in the infobox the same as the Missal he gave? If so or if not, make it clearer please.

Yes, it is. Clarified. Ealdgyth - Talk 19:33, 30 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Second paragraph of "Outlawed, death, and legacy" is very disjointed - two sentences on his death, one on his Missal, then the rest on his role in William the Conqueror invading England.

Have reworked the section some. Ealdgyth - Talk 22:22, 30 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Be more specific - It has been argued that Robert brought the style with him... who argues this?

clarified. Ealdgyth - Talk 22:22, 30 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Overall quite interesting and what is there is well done, I just think it needs more background and context for clarity. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 03:20, 27 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]