Wikipedia:Peer review/Premiere (The O.C.)/archive1

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I'm listing this article because I am interested in getting it to FA (possibly through GA first). I was just looking for some pointers and a bit of advice as this is my first FA attempt with an article.

Thanks, Rambo's Revenge (talk) 17:37, 11 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here.

  • The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself but ... financial penalties imposed for filming outside the "30-mile zone".[5] seems to only be in the lead. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way. Please see WP:LEAD
  • Provide context to the reader - the same ... financial penalties imposed for filming outside the "30-mile zone".[5] is unexplained in the Filming section or elsewhere in the article that I could see. See WP:PCR
  • The plot section seems to be overly detailed - a commercial break is not really part of the plot, couldn't is just be "Later..."? Also make sure the plot is described from an out of universe perspective - see WP:IN-U.
  • Article could use a copyedit "it's" is used where "its" (possessive) is meant, there are other spots that need polish.
  • Per WP:CITE references come AFTER punctuation, and are usually at the end of a sentence or phrase. Make sure all of the sources meet WP:RS - what makes seeingstars.com a RS? Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 15:39, 16 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  On hold - Thanks for your comments. I will get round to addressing them when I return from a wikibreak. Thanks once again, Rambo's Revenge (talk) 20:21, 17 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Comment from Matthewedwards (talk · contribs)

Matthewedwards (talk contribs  email) 20:02, 18 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)

Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 19:45, 22 August 2008 (UTC)