Wikipedia:Peer review/Post Oak Mall/archive2

Post Oak Mall edit

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I've listed this article for peer review because it is currently a good article and I'd like to get feedback on what additional work is needed to prepare the article for a featured article candidacy now that one major issue, the lack of images, has been addressed.

Thanks, -- AnmaFinotera (talk · contribs) 18:24, 30 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: This is interesting and generally well done, but I think it needs some work, mostly on language and providing context before FAC. Here are some suggestions for improvement.

The prose could be titghtened in several places I noticed - for example the first sentence might read better as Post Oak Mall is a regional shopping mall owned by CBL & Associates Properties ~~and located~~ in College Station, Texas. or even as Post Oak Mall is a regional shopping mall in College Station, Texas owned by CBL & Associates Properties.
The second sentence could also use a tweak Construction on the mall began in summer 1979 and it opened business on February 17, 1982. I would either say "opened for business" or just "opened on February..."
Missing verb? The first four anchor stores in the mall [were?] Sears, Dillard's, Wilson's, and Foley's.[5]
Should be neither ... nor or either ... or ...becoming the seventh Sonic in Brazos Valley, and the only one that does not have either a drive-in nor drive through option.[24] (i.e. only one that has neither a drive-in nor drive through option.[24]
There are several places that need to provide context for the reader better - see WP:PCR. For example
- I would add the year of the second phase opening to the lead
- I am guessing in the lead that It also houses a small food court, two restaurants, a bank, and a nightclub. is the current state of the mall - if so I would clarify it is "As of 2009" or perhaps "As of Spetember 2009". There are other places where a date could be added for clarification like the Stores section
- Who is Anuncio? A breif explanation would help
- Did CBL develop / build the mall originally or did they come in later?
- I think it would help to briefly describe the location of College Station in Texas, relative to Houston, etc.
- What is the relation between CBL and Bealls? See With the exception of Bealls, the mall's anchor stores are independently owned, separate from mall ownership.[1]
I would make this a new paragraph David Gwin, the economic development director for College Station, is working with the mall on a possible $8.5 million renovation project ... Also since this is a US article, I do not think that US $ needs to be linked here.
Math does not add up 1985 + 20 = 2005, but A local staple, The Curiosity Shop, moved into the mall in 1985. After being a featured store for twenty years, it left in August 2002 to move to a larger location.
Apparent internal contradiction In 1985, J.C. Penney became the sixth anchor... but in the next paragraph it says Steve & Barry's became the mall's sixth anchor store, and its first without an exterior exit... Huh?
I thought the whole second paragraph of the Anchors section was a bit unclear
36 acres needs metric (hectares presumably)
Link Texas A&M

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 03:49, 11 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the review (and sorry for the delay in response). I've done some rewording of the confusing areas noted above to try to make them clearer and to add context/clarification where needed. For the question on Bealls, I can only presume its the same as the other stores, with only the other anchors noted being separate units. Fixed the internal contradiction on The Curiosity Shop (I think it was trying to say local staple for 20 years, not just at the mall, but that was superflux anyway). Also fixed the contradiction on the anchors and hopefully cleared up that paragraph some. -- AnmaFinotera (talk · contribs) 09:42, 13 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I reread it - is there any explanation as to the name of the mall (why was it named Post Oak Mall?).
I also note that the Beginnings section says J. C. Penney, relocating from its Manor East Mall location in Bryan, became the fifth anchor store in the mall.[3] but the Anchors section now reads Bealls, became the fifth anchor when it opened a second location in Post Oak a few weeks after the mall's opening.[3][18]
In an attempt to better understand the sentence With the exception of Bealls, the mall's anchor stores are independently owned, separate from mall ownership and considered "stand-alone" builings.[1] I read ref 1, which does not mention Bealls at all. Instead it says The buildings that house Sears, Foley’s, J.C. Penney and the two Dillard’s stores are considered free-standing and are privately owned and taxed separately. Since the source does not mention Bealls, I think it is OR to say (as the article currently does) With the exception of Bealls, the mall's anchor stores are independently owned, separate from mall ownership and considered "stand-alone" builings.[1] It might be that Texas or county law is based on having a separate entrance and if you can find a source for that, then this might be OK. Hope this helps, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 19:32, 13 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Nope, no sources have explained why the name Post Oak. My guess would be the nearby geological feature the Post Oak belt and the prevalence of that variety of tree in the state as "Post Oak" seems to be a popular name, but nothing sourcable. Fixed the conflicting history and I've removed the statement. No idea why only Beall's was not mentioned, and since never did see any other details on it, not sure how relevant it may be? All of them have separate entrances except the Steve/Barry's now closed location :) -- AnmaFinotera (talk · contribs) 20:09, 13 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hmmm, it might be OK to include a sentence just saying what a Post Oak is, perhaps with a ref here. Not claiming it was the reason why they named the mall that, just saying what a post oak is (I was not sure when I read the name). It could just be that the Bealls was an error of omission by the reporter. I think the sentence could be paraphrasing what the ref does say - perhaps something like Both Dillard’s locations, Foley’s, J.C. Penney, and Sears are independently owned, separate from mall ownership and considered "stand-alone" buildings for tax purposes.[1] Does that work? Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 01:46, 14 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Added back with the rewording (and a bit of tweaking...curious to see if that is still the case now). For now, I think I'll leave out Post Oak without knowing for sure it refers to the tree and isn't just something that sounded cool together. :) -- AnmaFinotera (talk · contribs) 01:50, 14 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Works for me - would it make sense to "add as of 2004" (or whenever the news article was)? I am fine with leaving out the explanation of what a post oak is. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 02:20, 14 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Added the year (and moved it down to after when the second Dillards location is mentioned) :) -- AnmaFinotera (talk · contribs) 02:25, 14 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]