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Wikipedia:Peer review/Paul Collingwood/archive1

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Paul Collingwood edit

Heading towards the Cricket World Cup there are a number of articles which Wikiproject Cricket are attempting to get to Featured Article status. This is one of them. While the international career section seems pretty complete, I think the domestic career section is sorely lacking. Any other general comments would be gratefully received. The Rambling Man 10:53, 17 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

The existing content looks pretty good. A couple of comments:

  • I agree that the domestic career section needs expansion.
  • A section about playing style like the one in Gilberto Silva might be useful, particularly as Collingwood is well-known for his fielding.

Hope this helps. Oldelpaso 20:46, 18 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I haven't got a huge amount of time, so apologies for the brevity of my comments, and the fact I don't suggest improvements. I may well come back later.
The article's in a good state, obviously the citations need doing but otherwise it's little fixes here and there. Again, I agree the county stuff needs expanding, although I appreciate the information is hard to find. I'd also suggest that a couple more ODI international highlights need to be found, seeing as he's played over 100 games. First century? First wicket? I can't recall if they're in there.
First wicket, first century, both now included in the article with appropriate citations! The Rambling Man 13:38, 19 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Anyway, here's the spree of comments!
  • Although I know Collingwood plays for Durham, and I know you're trying to avoid repetition of the word Durham, "joined his local county side" might not mean anything to a passive reader. Unless they clicked the link, how would they know that Durham was his local county side. For all they know, his local county side might be Yorkshire.
  • Done, reworded the opening sentence in that section to explicitly state that he joined his "..local county side, Durham..." The Rambling Man 12:35, 19 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Perhaps "This earned him a call up to the England One-Day International (ODI) squad - he was selected for the NatWest Series against Pakistan and Australia in 2001.[8]" might be better in the England section?
  • Moved and rephrased a bit to fit into the international section. Made the domestic section even lighter, so this needs even more attention now! The Rambling Man 13:46, 19 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • When and where was Collingwood's ODI debut?
  • "Having established himself as an integral part of the England one-day setup, the next step would be to earn a call-up to the Test squad." Not sure about the necessity of that part of the sentence.
  • Me neither, removed and linked into the sentence about the injury, slight rewording on him cementing his position in the OD squad. The Rambling Man 18:25, 19 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • What did he do during the summer of 2002 and 2002/03 tours
  • Added some stuff to cover this time hopefully, both the Natwest series and VB series referenced and cited The Rambling Man 14:38, 19 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Nevertheless, he was awarded a 12-month ECB contract when the winter touring squads were announced for Bangladesh and Sri Lanka where he would make his Test debut.[5][13]" Nasty sentence.
  • What happened on his test debut? Why did he play? Why didn't play in the next test etc.
  • Why he was picked, how he did, why he was dropped all now added and referenced. The Rambling Man 15:51, 19 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and made Collingwood the first player to score a century and take six wickets in a One-Day International[24]. Viv Richards had previously held the record, scoring a hundred and taking five wickets.[25]" That's a bit confused, seeing it's not a record that Richards held as such, more the best before that. "The previous best score was held by Viv Richards..." might be better, although better worded!
  • Reworded as This outing surpassed the previous best ODI performance, that of Viv Richards, who scored a hundred and took five wickets against New Zealand in Dunedin in the 1986/1987 season but happy to have this improved upon, naturally. The Rambling Man 15:59, 19 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • "While originally selected for the Test squad at the outset of the series, Collingwood was not called upon until after the injury to bowler Simon Jones occurred during the Fourth Test at Trent Bridge.[27]" Nasty sentence.
  • Indeed. Reworded into something vaguely reminiscent of English... The Rambling Man 18:42, 19 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • "He came back into the team for the Third Test against Pakistan in 2005-6, making his first and second Test half-century in both innings in a losing cause.[31]" Might want to make comment on his non-selection for the first and second Pakistan tests - who replaced Jones? Also, who did he replace for the third test?
  • Hmm, he played in the First Test, he was dropped for Michael Vaughan for the Second Test, and returned in the Third with Strauss going home. All detail added and cited. The Rambling Man 17:32, 19 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Citation needed for "an injury-hit England eleven for the first Test against India"
  • Cited, rephrased as crisis-hit, not all injuries after all. The Rambling Man 17:41, 19 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Although he made catching mistakes in the 1st Sri Lanka test, he did get a half-century. Worthy of comment?
  • Got out for 48 twice in the series against Pakistan, worthy of comment?
  • I think, on this occasion, too much detail. But happy to be disagreed with. The Rambling Man 18:10, 19 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • "However, with the sudden departure of Marcus Trescothick from the tour just over a week before the First Test, the debate has once again been settled for the time being." Tense
  • Changed tense but not sure about the spirit of this sentence, could easily fall under WP:OR unless we get some citation The Rambling Man 18:15, 19 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In the first Test at the Gabba in Brisbane, Collingwood worked his way to a hard earned 96, narrowly missing out on a century, stumped "...skipping miles down the pitch and trying to smack Warne over his head to reach a hundred".[49]" Which innings? Context of match perhaps?
  • Context added, if he hadn't done that, we may have saved the test. Tsk. The Rambling Man 18:21, 19 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
That's yer lot! Hope that helps. HornetMike 12:01, 19 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Helps enormously. Thanks for your time and your comments HornetMike. The Rambling Man 12:31, 19 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

The article needs quite some work.

  1. Too many weasel adjectives. (magnificent 134 not; First forays with England). Needs to be copyedited by a neutral reviewer.
  2. Fix citations
  3. =Early and personal life= Too short. Does he have an alternate career?
  4. MBE? Give this man a knighthood! in italics
  5. Graph needed (svg)
  6. Sections 4.1.1 and 4.1.2 cause a lopsided table. Needs to go.
  7. Consider having a table with the runs scored against each country.

=Nichalp «Talk»= 15:47, 20 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

A neutral copyeditor? Sorry :) -- ALoan (Talk) 13:30, 21 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
I have fixed the sections and the italics, and have asked a prolific graph creator if he is able to make one for Collingwood. I plan to have a go at a table of runs against different countries later. →Ollie (talk • contribs) 17:42, 20 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
I've done my graphs for both Test and ODI matches. I've left a note at Talk:Paul_Collingwood#Batting_graphs. I'm afraid I haven't found a good way to make them into SVG format yet. Looking through Inkscape I couldn't find a way to import them straight from Excel, which would be ideal. Perhaps someone with better image knowledge than myself could suggest something? Raven4x4x 23:48, 20 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Going through the SVG article, it lists a software: http://www.svgmaker.com/ that can convert charts, graphs etc to svg. =Nichalp «Talk»= 07:46, 21 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

I tend to have a dry writing style, but "Collingwood played in all seven matches of the 2002 Natwest Series against India and Sri Lanka, losing in the final to India.[22] Neither his batting nor bowling during this series were particularly impressive" should mention the stats specifically as well, so that the reader can see what he actually did. It's good to keep an adjective so that a reader can understand the magnitude of the numbers though, as long as it is understated, which is done appropriately here.

Done, added his batting average and five wickets with the ball into the text. The Rambling Man 08:03, 21 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

As for the comment about a "Crisis-hit" team prior to Nagpur 2006, I changed it to explicitly note the issues with Vaughan and Trescothick, to make it more informative and less a violation of WP:WEASEL. Blnguyen (bananabucket) 07:15, 21 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Great, thanks. The Rambling Man 08:03, 21 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  1. The section titles are long: Compress One Day International to ODI so that the ToC looks more compact.
Done. The Rambling Man 08:03, 21 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  1. Red links need to be dealt with

=Nichalp «Talk»= 07:48, 21 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Tintin's comments edit

  • He was not particularly successful on his ODI debut in June 2001, scoring only two runs and taking no wickets against Pakistan at Edgbaston,[17] but the selectors showed confidence in him by choosing him for the 2001-02 one-day tour of Zimbabwe, This gives the impression that he played only that ODI in the 2001 NW, but it isn't true.
    • Good spot. Done. --Dweller 12:58, 21 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Collingwood played in all seven matches of the 2002 Natwest Series against India and Sri Lanka, losing in the final to India. We talked about the player but suddenly switched to the team in the last phrase.
  • Collingwood was selected for the Test squad at the outset of the series but was not called into action until bowler Simon Jones was ruled out due to injury during the Fourth Test at Trent Bridge.[42] Collingwood was then called up for the fifth and deciding Ashes Test. Although he only scored 7 and 10 with the bat that match, his blocking performance alongside Kevin Pietersen in a 60-run sixth wicket stand on the final day helped England draw the match, and clinch the series.[43] There is some redundancy in saying that he "was not called into action" and then again that "he was called up". "Blocking performance" sounds odd.
    • Done. Removed another redundancy about it being "decisive", when it's clear from the text it was decisive. --Dweller 13:06, 21 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Despite making his first and second Test half-century in both innings,
    • I love that. lol. Removed. --Dweller 13:10, 21 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • However, by the last day, the match was heading for a draw, with England batting out its second innings. etc. Collingwood was dismissed on the fourth day and there wasn't much left of England for the fifth.
  • Despite the series ending with a 5-0 whitewash by Australia, Collingwood finished the series ranked 15th in the LG ICC World Rankings for Test batsmen.. I get 14th here at the end of the series. Someone (probably Prince) must have gone past him since then.
  • He then hit a century and scored the winning runs as England won the first of three finals in Melbourne, against Australia,[87] becoming the ninth Englishman to hit centuries in consecutive ODI's I count only eight here. Tintin 08:54, 21 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
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