Wikipedia:Peer review/Optional Protocol to the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women/archive1

Optional Protocol to the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women edit

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'm planning on nominating it as a Good Article, and want feedback first. My chief question is whether I've covered the topic well enough, or whether there needs to be more (and if so, what?) Also, are there enough references, does it conform to MoS etc.

Thanks, IdiotSavant (talk) 04:50, 28 July 2008 (UTC) Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here.[reply]

  • The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article and should be expanded per WP:LEAD. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way.
  • Article has several short paragraphs (one or two sentences) which should be combined with others or perhaps expanded.
  • I would provide context for the reader and explain what CEDAW is - perhaps make Genesis into a "Genesis and background" section?
  • Since there are "ten complaints against seven countries" why list only five?

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 02:27, 2 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]