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Wikipedia:Peer review/Myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome/archive1

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Myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome

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I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like one (or two) additional reviewers before I nominate at FAC. Is the article sufficiently understandable to a broad audience? Is there still some awkward prose?

Thanks, —Femke 🐦 (talk) 07:32, 16 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

RoySmith

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  • You state (in the lead) "ME/CFS affected roughly one in every 150 people" and then "Doctors may be unfamiliar with ME/CFS, as it is often not covered in medical school". The obvious question is "How can med schools not teach about something that affects 1 in 150 of the population?" Either one of those statements is wrong, or there's a glaring gap in medical education. Either way, it deserves some discussion.
    I'm not sure how to expand on this. The cited source bases their statement on a single 2013 study, which found 6% of medical schools in the US teach ME/CFS fully (so both theoretically, practically & research). I have weakened the sentence accordingly (not covered --> not fully covered). In the UK, the 2022 interim delivery plan noted the same gap. NICE has a short discussion in their guideline evidence doc (p.18), which follows the doctor-patient relationships section in the themes discussed (i.e. patients sometimes teaching HCPs). My guess is that limited teaching comes from limited research, which I have discussed in detail. —Femke 🐦 (talk) 19:00, 19 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'm reading this mostly to answer your "Is the article sufficiently understandable to a broad audience?" question. To give some context, I'm not a doctor, but have a better than average grounding in medicine and human physiology. So far, Im finding this easy reading. Every time I come upon some technical term that I expect most people would not understand ("orthostatic intolerance", "postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome", "Orthostatic hypotension" you've provided both an in-line explanation and a link to an article for more details. So all good there.
    • "hypersensitivities to touch, light, sound, and smells" you've got a link, but this might also benefit from an in-line explanation of "hypersensitivities"
      • I've removed the link, as the Wikipedia article doesn't seem to cover the same topic. Gave some more info. —Femke 🐦 (talk) 19:00, 19 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
    • "NASA 10-minute lean test.[12]", I'd provide an in-line description here.

Overall, as you get further into the article, particularly the "Diagnosis" and "Management" sections, it gets more technical, but I think that's fine; anybody who gets that far is likely to have a stronger technical background.

  • As far as the prose goes, there are a few odd phrases. I'll list them as I see them.
    • "They cannot be caused by a different illness", I'm not sure what you're trying to say here.
      • Removed as it's about diagnosis, so doesn't really fit there. —Femke 🐦 (talk) 18:06, 19 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
    • "cleaning their teeth" -> "brushing their teeth", or if you wanted to sound a bit more clinical, "oral hygiene".
    • "Rest does not ease the fatigue much." -> "Rest provides limited relief from fatigue". Your version sounds too informal.
    • "bedbound" -> I was going to suggest changing that to "bedridden", but I see that both terms do exist with slightly different meanings so I'm not sure what to suggest there.
      • Hah, I wasn't aware there was a difference. Benbound is what the sources consistently use, so I'll stick with that one. —Femke 🐦 (talk) 18:06, 19 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
    • "cannot independently care for themselves." -> "for themselves" kind of implies "independently"
    • "People with ME/CFS have decreased quality of life according to the SF-36 questionnaire" -> "... indicate a decreased qualify of life when evaluated using the sF-36 questionnaire"
      • I don't quite understand your suggestion.
    • "Less than 50% of people with ME/CFS are employed" -> I would have used "fewer" instead of "less", but I think you might find multiple opinions on that
    • "Bacterial infections such as Q-fever are another potential trigger." -> "Bacterial infections" is plural, so I think you want "... are other potential triggers".
  • "a full blood count, a HIV test, red blood cell sedimentation rate (ESR), C-reactive protein, blood glucose and thyroid-stimulating hormone." WP:SEAOFBLUE

Well, that's what I see in a first pass. Overall, quite good. RoySmith (talk) 18:27, 18 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

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