Wikipedia:Peer review/Mount Baker/archive1

Mount Baker edit

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for May 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it is near Featured Article quality and I would like to learn what it still needs in order to be passed.

Thanks, Meldshal42_{Hit me}^{What I've Done} 19:49, 16 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)

You said you wanted to know about FAC, so I looked at the sources for the article.

We have a floating picture issue, the panorama is floating over the references on my screen. I changed the size of my browser window, and it stayed stubbornly over the references.

Done ~Meldshal42_{Hit me}^{What I've Done} 19:14, 23 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

What makes http://www.navsource.org/index.html a reliable source?

Otherwise the sources look fine. I did not look at prose, just sources as I would have done at FAC. 16:41, 18 May 2008 (UTC)

Done Meldshal42_{Hit me}^{What I've Done} 00:00, 20 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from RJH (talk)

The first paragraph in the lead consists of three long sentences. It would be preferable if you would split those in half so that the reader gets a break between facts.

Done Meldshal42_{Hit me}^{What I've Done} 00:03, 20 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

There are elements in the lead that are not present in the main body. Likewise the article is not consisely summarized by the lead. Please see Wikipedia:Lead section and try to bring it in line.
If the Spanish were not the first non-indigenous people to see Baker, who did? The text should also confirm whether the mountain was named after third lieutenant Joseph Baker.

This confuses me. It is already stated that the local Native Americans were the first. Would you like me to find out what nation they were? Meldshal42_{Hit me}^{What I've Done} 00:16, 20 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Here is the sentence: "The Spanish were the first to record Mount Baker's existence although they were not the first people other than indigenous natives to see the mountain." As a condition it has excluded indigenous natives and the Spanish. What is left? Did you mean to say, "The Spanish were the first to record Mount Baker's existence, although the indigenous natives were the first to see the mountain"?—RJH (talk) 19:03, 21 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Alright. I'll fix it. ~Meldshal42_{Hit me}^{What I've Done} 19:43, 21 May 2008 (UTC) Done ~Meldshal42_{Hit me}^{What I've Done} 19:50, 21 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Please replace "--" with an — character.

That character is not in the article. ~Meldshal42_{Hit me}^{What I've Done} 19:59, 21 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

You could mention how the mountain height ranks among Washington state mountains and among Cascade range mountains.

Done Meldshal42_{Hit me}^{What I've Done} 00:26, 20 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Could you give some information on modern climbing activity? Also some information about the environmental status of the surrounding land would be beneficial.

Thanks.—RJH (talk) 21:55, 19 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

By this you are referring to the Snoqualmie National Forest, and the wilderness area, plus the ski area? ~Meldshal42_{Hit me}^{What I've Done} 20:04, 21 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I added further comments to your talk page.—RJH (talk) 20:39, 28 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Casliber edit

The very first sentence seems unwieldy to me. I'd put the volcanic material in a separate sentence and maybe elaborate a little.

This is not up to me. I guess Black Tusk could help.

It is also especially visible.. - 'prominent'?

I admit this is awkward, but prominent won't work either. I'll remove the especially. ~Me ldshal 42 20:41, 3 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Joseph Baker made an observation of Mount Baker.. - does this mean he saw it? Or measured it or...what? Is ambiguous to me. If the first can be said more succinctly.

Well, i replaced it, but i don't like how it's coming out. ~Me ldshal 42 20:45, 3 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Just found a quote from the journal from one of the resources we already have. ~Me ldshal 42 20:49, 3 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Isaac I. Stevens, the first governor of Washington Territory, wrote about Mount Baker in 1853. - what did he write about it. Sorta left hanging.

Found what he wrote from the same resource as the other quote is from. ~Me ldshal 42 20:52, 3 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]