Wikipedia:Peer review/Mary Seacole/archive1
Mary Seacole edit
A remarkable Victorian lady who was born as a mixed-race free woman in Jamaica when it was still a slave society. She practised as a "doctress" in Jamaica, Panama and the Crimean War, and is sometimes called the black Florence Nightingale. She disappeared from public view after her death in 1881, and has only re-emerged in the last 20 years. Her life story is now taught alongside that of Nightingale in British primary schools.
I am going to be adding further references (particularly from the main source, her autobiography) and there are some academic sources that may be fruitful (details on request). Any comments would be welcome before I take this to WP:FAC -- ALoan (Talk) 00:57, 13 October 2006 (UTC)
- The lead is a bit brief, it should summarise the content of the article; the start of the second paragraph of the lead doesn't strike me as very logical. The recognition section is a bit disconnected. I'm not keen on the inclusion of dates in the section headings - since the sections are chronological it doesn't really need them. The notes would take up less space if you used the markup putting them in two columns. Otherwise, it's an excellent article. --Peta 01:45, 13 October 2006 (UTC)
- Thanks for a very prompt response. Yes, the lead needs expanding to about twice the size (I have done the difficult bit, which is the article, first; the lead just needs to sumarise it, but I am suffering from wood-for-trees at the moment!), and, yes, the last section is just a collection of snippets that needs organising (the sources mainly deal with her life, and are not strong on that aspect, but I think it is important). I put the dates in the headings, because the interest - and the detail - is so skewed to the period from 1850 to 1860. I would prefer to keep them in, to be honest. The two-column mark-up does not work in the classic skin, but I will investigate it for the benefit of others. Thanks for reading. -- ALoan (Talk) 01:53, 13 October 2006 (UTC)