Wikipedia:Peer review/Man Down (song)/archive1

Man Down (song) edit

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… I want to know what else is needed for GA, as it is only a small article compared to other articles by Rihanna.

Thanks, Calvin 999 16:14, 30 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

It needs some copy-edit work, which I can help with for now. Also, I wonder if there is more to the Controversy section which could be added. Just a thought.--Chimino (talk) 21:42, 4 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, thanks for replying. I'm not sure if there is anymore about the video, it didn't receive or attract the backlash that S&M managed to create. Calvin 999 22:01, 4 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I did a bit of copy-edit to the article, and added another source of criticism (choosing to shoot in Jamaica) which is what I originally had in mind when I mentioned it. As for what else it might need for GA-status, someone with more experience should probably weigh in...--Chimino (talk) 02:51, 5 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • You need to write about the song's composition. What are its musical features? What genre(s) does it fall under? What instruments does it use? What is its lyrical theme? Adabow (talk · contribs) 10:18, 5 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    I can't find any info about the chord prograssion, bpm, vocal range, instruments etc. It hasn't been published on musicnotes.com which is where that info would be. I've added a composition section but it is only 2 sentences long. There simply isn't any info about it, at least none that is viable for use on wikipedia. Calvin 999 22:22, 15 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    Can someone continue this please? Calvin 999 22:04, 22 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by —Andrewstalk

  • File:Man Down Rihanna.jpg needs a source
  • File:Rihanna - Man Down.ogg needs a tighter rationale. Why is it used? How does it meet WP:NFCC. See WP:FUR.
  • Use first release date in infobox (May 3, 2011)
  • Link radio formats
  • "The song is also included" - why 'also'?
  • gangsta is a dablink
  • MOS:QUOTE try to avoid linking inside quotes
  • "In the US, "Man Down" was released to the US rhythmic and urban radio on May 3, 2011" - not supported by source. Use Allaccess archives (urban rhythmic)
  • When using archived webpages (such as Digital Spy), include the original as well. Use parameters url=, archiveurl= and archivedate=
  • " focuses heavily on the musical genre of electro-reggae" - reword. Maybe, 'draws heavily from the music genre of electro-reggae'?
  • ""Man Down" received generally positive reviews from critics, with Jon Pareles of The New York Times said that" - grammar error
  • " the rum-pa-pum ragga "Man Down" burrows neck-deep in island rhythms" is copied directly from the source. paraphrase this.
  • Ref names should be as the source gives them. Use the exact same title, and only italicise if the source does so.
  • iTunes refs need proper formatting, eg France: {{cite web |url=http://itunes.apple.com/fr/album/man-down/id448927545 |title=Man Down – Single |publisher=iTunes Store. Apple Inc |language=French |accessdate=July 23, 2011}}
  • The music video section needs copy-editing for clarity. "The video begins on a dramatic note when Rihanna shoots a man making his way through a busy train station" is awkward
  • 'Chart performance' should be placed directly after 'Critical reception' and should cover most/all charts in prose. The table section should be renamed 'Charts'

Andrewstalk 00:07, 23 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

  • Done. Thank you :). Have closed the review. Calvin 999 13:56, 23 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]