Wikipedia:Peer review/Malaspina family/archive1

Malaspina family edit

I've listed this article for peer review because… I finished translating it from Italian just now and since I'm new to this Wikipedia stuff I was keen on getting someones opinion/improvement on the changes I have made! I hope I can learn from u guys! Thanks, Spaicol (talk) 16:35, 1 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, two quick comments:
  • I was initially baffled by the line the marquisate of Massa and lordship of Carrara, then Duchy of Massa and Carrara, and latterly Principality of Massa and Marquisate of Carrara in the first sentence. Would it be appropriate to just say Massa and Carrara, moving the information about their changing status to the Cybo-Malaspina or Malaspina of Fivizzano sections of the article? Otherwise, please consider adding an explanatory bit like 'which later became'. Then in this context would indicate 'at that time', but I think you meant it to indicate 'at a later time'; latterly is not typically used in this context.
  • For the paragraph in the Family's history section about different theories of the surname's origin, it would be helpful to provide a literal translation of 'Malaspina', to make obvious the significance of the death legend and bad-attitude legend.
Cheers, Genericusername57 (talk) 02:49, 15 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Genericusername57 hey man, I followed your suggestions please check them out, also, if u have any other critiques to make id gladly oblige to work on a fix <3 Spaicol (talk) 22:43, 17 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]