Wikipedia:Peer review/Listen to the Rain on the Roof/archive1

Listen to the Rain on the Roof

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I believe it can achieve good article status.

Thanks, Akcvtt (talk) 05:31, 4 June 2011 (UTC)

Comments by Bradley0110

Some of the same issues here as "You're Gonna Love Tomorrow" - change "American Broadcasting Company (ABC)" to "ABC (American Broadcasting Company)" in the lead, and change the past tense to present in the Background section.

• Lead
  • "The episode takes place six months after the events in the negatively-received second season." I think this sentence would work better without the "negatively-received"; you mention that critics saw an improvement to the series in the third paragraph and I don't think it works to drop a piece of reception into a sentence that tells the reader the setting.
  • "Lynette (Felicity Huffman) copes with her husband's illegitimate daughter and her mother." Whose mother? Lynette's or the daughter's?
• Plot
  • "Desperate Housewives focuses on the lives of several residents living on the fictional street of Wisteria Lane." I've always found it strange where some people choose to place "fictional"; the construction of this sentence implies to me that only Wisteria Lane is fictional, and that the residents and their lives are all real. The lead's reference to the series as a comedy drama establishes it as fictional, so I don't think it needs repeating here.
  • "[...]Orson's former neighbor, Carolyn Bigsby (Laurie Metcalf) arrives uninvited[...]". Comma before "arrives".
• Production
  • "Cherry stated that he regretted "most of Season 2,"". The short quote doesn't require quotation marks.
  • "Cherry The cast also expressed disappointment in the second season." Anomalous "Cherry"? Semi-colon at the end.
  • "[...]while Marcia Cross confessed". "and" instead of "while".
• Reception
  • Again, some of the single-word quotes don't need quote marks when the sentence signposts it as a quote (e.g. Dave Anderson of TV Guide called the episode "first-rate," while praising the comedic Bree storyline and declaring the set-up for the Orson mystery storyline "ingenious.")
  • Can you incorporate any more reviews from publications? The Los Angeles Daily News and New York Daily News both have good reviews making reference to the improvement over the second season.[1][2]

Bradley0110 (talk) 13:20, 21 June 2011 (UTC)