Wikipedia:Peer review/List of Utah Jazz head coaches/archive1

List of Utah Jazz head coaches

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for February 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it does not have enough entries to become an FLC. I need to peer review this article for Featured topic criteria 3c.

Thanks, -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]] 07:50, 19 February 2009 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Looks decent, here are some suggestions for improvement.

• I think the tense works better as simple past: The Jazz have won two consecutive Western Conference championships in 1997 and 1998.[1]

You think or you know? I think the sentence with the word "have" sounds better in my opinion. -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]] 05:11, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

I know I don't like your attitude. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 05:34, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

Don't think of it like that. I just want to know the answer if it is mandatory or not. -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]] 05:50, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

Peer reviews are suggestions only, they are not "actionable" as FAC and FLC are. If you like it better the way it is, keep it that way. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 06:05, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

• The last three sentences in the first paragraph all start with "The Jazz ..." - can't this be varied somehow?

Done. -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]] 05:11, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

• I would add "As of 2009," to The Jazz is owned by the estate of the late Larry H. Miller, and Kevin O'Connor is their general manager.[3] - things change and a date should be given

Wouldn't that be the same thing as adding "currently". A user once told me that using "currently" is inappropriate. -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]] 05:11, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

Two years from now you may be retired and no one may update this, and they may have a new coach. If it says "As of February 2009, ..." people reading know when this was true. If it says "Currently" they do not know this. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 05:34, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

On the "Coaches" section, it says stats are as of (date). :D -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]] 05:50, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

• Since the six coaches have served a total of seven terms, should that be mentioned in There have been six head coaches for the Jazz franchise.

Could you give a more clearer reason? -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]] 05:11, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

Sure, say something like There have been six head coaches for the Jazz franchise, who have served seven terms. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 05:34, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

I meant a reason say we need to tell the reader how many terms were served. It sounds like you also have an "attitude"? -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]] 05:50, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

• Lead says The franchise's first head coach was Scotty Robertson, who coached for fourteen games. but the table says he coached 15 (and lost 14). Plus number 10 and above are numbers per the MOS.

Fixed. -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]] 05:11, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

• Elgin Baylor served as head coach for one game, then came back for 220 more games - what happened? This sounds like a story that should be in the lead.

This is a list, not an article. If we include why all the head coaches left, then the prose would be way too long. It's also hard to find reliable sources that are from the 1970s. -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]] 05:11, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

You have a coach who served one day, then was brought back for a couple of years. I am not saying you have to explain it all, just note it in the lead (which is a summary). Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 05:34, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, but no reference for the reason that. -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]] 05:50, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

• I would combine this sentence Sloan has been the head coach of the Jazz since 1988.[9] with this Jerry Sloan is the franchise's all-time leader for the most regular-season games coached ... for something like Jerry Sloan has been the head coach of the Jazz since 1988, and is the franchise's all-time leader for the most regular-season games coached ...

I usually like the last sentence to have something to do with the current coach. It is for consistency. -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]] 05:11, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

The move the Sloan stuff last (chronological order is easier to follow usually too. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 05:34, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

• This needs explained better (in the NBA? ever?) Sloan is the first coach to have more than 1000 wins with a single team,[4]

Fixed. -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]] 05:11, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

• Needless repetition Layden is also the only coach to have a number retired by the Jazz, having the number 1 retired by the Jazz in 1988.[8] Perhaps Layden's number 1 was retired by the Jazz in 1988, the only coach so honored.[8]

He was a coach, and he didn't have a "number". That is why I phrased the sentence like that. -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]] 05:11, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

How about Layden is the only coach to have a number retired by the Jazz; "1" in 1988.[8] then? Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 05:34, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

Sure, why not. Used brackets insead. -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]] 05:50, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

• I am amazed there are no pictures of any of these coaches - have you tried Flickr?

I am not used to the photo area of Wikipedia. I hope you could help with me on that. -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]]

No thanks, I feel like retiring from helping you (and its not laziness). Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 05:34, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 03:19, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

To you're comment, I'm pretty busy (lazy) right now, and feel like semi-retiring, so no thanks. -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]] 05:11, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

There are no photos in any of the coach articles, I have not looked at Commons or Flickr. I will check for Sloan on Flickr as it tends to only have recent stuff. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 06:05, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

There are no coach pictures found dearching under Utah and Jazz on Commons. There is File:Houston Rockets and Utah Jazz.jpg. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 13:29, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

Also no free Jerry Sloan images on Flickr. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 13:32, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

Comments from Dabomb87 (talk · contribs) SRE, please stay courteous. Ruhrfisch is an excellent contributor and one of the best (certainly the most hard working) peer reviewers on Wiki. Snarky commentsare not helpful.

• "The Jazz play"-->They play
• "The team joined the NBA in 1974 as an expansion team called the New Orleans Jazz, until they relocated to Salt Lake City in 1979. " Comma not needed.
• "who coached for fourteen games. "-->who coached for 14 games.
• Is there a source available about Jerry Sloan being the coach with the longest tenure with the same team?

There already was one in the prose and table, but the sentence was added onto the article. -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]] 01:41, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

• "2 Western Conference championships (1997, 1998)" Link the years to the articles about the NBA playoffs for those years.
• "Had the number 1 retired by the Jazz in 1988." No period. Dabomb87 (talk) 12:17, 12 March 2009 (UTC)

Done all. -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]] 01:41, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

Looks good. Dabomb87 (talk) 02:10, 13 March 2009 (UTC)