Wikipedia:Peer review/List of National Lacrosse Hall of Fame members/archive1

List of National Lacrosse Hall of Fame members edit

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to take it to Featured List and want to know what work it still needs.

Thanks, Yarnalgo _talk to me 19:26, 22 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

The Members of the National Lacrosse Hall of Fame, - The comma is not needed.
scale of 1-15 - I would prefer "1 to 15" for clarity.
The 8-step process needs periods since you are using complete sentences. Actually, this would apply to all your bulleted lists.
be the pool of individuals the Nomination Committees to chose from for induction - Grammar issue here.
save for a special situation - What situation?
chose five individuals - Choose? Same in step 8.
Looks like the text under A truly great Contributor is getting an unneeded line break.
What was the criteria used to decide whether an inductee received a wikilink or not? Same for the School/Affiliation.
Lead is a little short. Maybe add why there were no inductions in 1995 (there was a reason, right?).
I don't think the row Many with less than is needed; matter of fact, its a little confusing. Just specify somewhere that only schools with six or more are listed.
The three "only"s after "A truly great Player/Coach/Official" are lowercase but the "An" after "A truly great Contributor" is capitalized. Needs to be standardized, and I suggest capitalized.

Hope this helps.»NMajdan·talk 21:54, 25 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I've fixed most of your suggestions. For the wikilinking in the table, inductees are only linked if an article exists for them — I could link them but that would be a lot of red — and schools/affiliations are now all linked.--Yarnalgo _talk to me 02:39, 26 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I still think the lead is a little short and too broken out. You have four very short paragraphs. Can you combine some of them? Also, can you explain why 1995 didn't have any inductees? You could also mention the four induction categories in the lead. Regarding the wikilinks, the consensus that has formed at WP:FL is if a person meets the notability criteria, then they should be linked, regardless of whether an article exists or not. If they person does not meet the requirements, then they should remain unlinked. One more item, you're using a different date format in your last reference. Change it to match the others.»NMajdan·talk 15:13, 26 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Well then per WP:ANYBIO they are all notable because they have "received a well-known and significant award or honor". I will work on linking them all shortly. I'll also work on expanding the lead but there really isn't that much more to say. I can't find anything at all about 1995 so I'm not sure what to do about that. --Yarnalgo _talk to me 03:58, 27 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your help. I've tried to beef up the intro as much as possible and have completed linking all of the inductees. --Yarnalgo _talk to me 02:44, 29 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]