Wikipedia:Peer review/List of Minnesota Timberwolves head coaches/archive1

List of Minnesota Timberwolves head coaches edit

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for May 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because of featured topic criteria 3c, as this will be part of a potential featured topic.

Thanks, -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]] 22:01, 26 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Dabomb87 (talk · contribs)

~~"The Timberwolves play"-->They play~~
~~"The team have"-->The team has~~
~~"McHale have been elected"-->McHale has been elected~~ Dabomb87 (talk) 23:31, 29 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

All done. -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]] 01:52, 30 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good. Dabomb87 (talk) 20:17, 30 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Here are some suggestions for improvement, mostly language nitpicks.

Awkward sentence The team joined the NBA in 1989 as an expansion team with the Orlando Magic.[2] I think it means The team was one of two expansion teams that joined the NBA in 1989 (the other was Orlando Magic).[2]
I am not 100% clear what this means The Timberwolves has never been in the NBA Finals since its inception.[3] Is this the team's inception, or the inception of the NBA Finals (how I read it, but this does not make sense)?
How about combining these sentences to something like There have been eight head coaches for the Timberwolves; the first was Bill Musselman, who coached for two seasons.
McHale's winning percentage seems to be the only record statistic not quoted in the lead - why not include it too?
I would add "playoffs" to this sentence to make it clearer Saunders is the only head coach to have been to the playoffs with the Timberwolves, with a [playoffs] record of 47 games and 17 wins.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 03:28, 30 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Done all. Thanks for the suggestion, but articles are too big for me to peer review, and I, to be honest, am very lazy (as some can tell...) -- [[SRE.K.A.L.|L.A.K.ERS]] 03:59, 30 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]