Wikipedia:Peer review/List of Louisiana state parks/archive1

List of Louisiana state parks

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it is of high quality and covers the entire domain very well. It is well cited and has supplemental media that engage the user. The founding years' citations are on the individual state park pages. However, I'd like to make sure that it meets quality standards and it needs external review. Thanks, Michael miceli (talk) 15:12, 9 October 2011 (UTC)

Comments from Jafeluv

Lead / History:

• The introduction sentence of a list article does not have to contain the exact title of the article in boldface. A better way to start the introduction would be something like: "The state of Louisiana has 22 state parks, which are governed by the...".

• As of 2010? The source is dated 2011. In any case it may be better to remove this altogether to avoid having to change it every year.

Fixed

• Since the lead is only one sentence long, it could be a better solution to just merge the history section into the lead (ie. remove the heading). It would also be a good idea to add some summary information into the lead (see List of Michigan state parks, for example).

Fixed

List:

• Consider using {{nowrap}} to keep values and unit symbols on the same row. Eg. {{nowrap|676 acres}} ({{nowrap|274 ha}}).

Fixed

• Some remarks are complete sentences, while some are sentence fragments. It would be more pleasant to read if all remarks were complete sentences ending in a period.

• Sources for the area and founding date of each part should be presented in the list, not just in the linked park articles. The reader does not necessarily want to navigate into another article to verify information presented in this one.

Thanks for letting me know about this. I realized going through that I don't have citations for every one. I know they are true because I called the Department, but I need real citations for all of them. This will take some work.

• Two of the alternate names are missing a date for the name change. These should also be sourced, either in the year column or in the remarks.

• The illustration looks nice, although a couple of the pictures are a little too high for the purposes of the table. I wouldn't necessarily start cropping images simply to make them fit into a table better, though.

Yeah, I agree that cropping isn't really necessary. I'll leave the tall images until I can find a good replacement. It was very hard to get all the images.

Hope this helps, Jafeluv (talk) 14:29, 17 October 2011 (UTC)

Thanks a lot. You've really helped and now I have some more goals to add to the article in terms of references especially.Michael miceli (talk) 03:12, 23 October 2011 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments

I just saw this when it was closed by the bot. Nice start, but needs some work before a run at FLC - thanks for you work on it and here are some suggestions for improvement.

• A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow - List of Pennsylvania state parks is a fully illustrated FL and may be a useful model.
• MOS says to provide metric conversions for English units like miles. The {{convert}} template works well for this
• Capitalization is odd in paces and needs to be consistent throughout the article - so why is it "The Office of State Parks" but "the Department of Culture, Recreation, and Tourism" in the lead? (I would go with "the" generally)
• Similarly state park is capitalized in the Park Name column (Segnette State Park) but is not capitalized in the Remarks column (Segnette state park features a wavepool with a capacity of 100 people.)
• Language is a bit rough in spots - two examples
  • Due to an active bear habitat, bear-proof containers are provided for waste disposal throughout the park. Can a habitat be active? Doesn't this just mean there are a lot of bears in the park? Perhaps Due to an active bear population, ... or even Due to a large number of bears, ...
  • The Otis house, a National Register of Historic Place, is located the park. Missing word (in). This is not how places on the National Register are referred to - How about something like The Otis house, listed on the National Register of Historic Places, is located in the park. or The park includes the Otis house, which is on the National Register of Historic Places
• Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see Wikipedia:Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in all peer reviews, in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article. I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 13:27, 6 November 2011 (UTC)